The Fate of a Jester
by The Outlasted
Summary: This is the story of a woman and her connection to the Clown Prince of Crime. The two don't meet in traditional situations but the spark was still ignited and the rest was history. Well I'll of course will show you the life of the soon to become Clown Princess of Crime and the adjustment of riding solo to becoming a lover from the Ace of Knaves perspective himself. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Down in the depths of Gotham City humanities have become a lost art. People let their demons run their mind to embrace what the world has to offer to each damaged soul. Unable to control themselves in times of weakness, one sees how cruel and unforgiving the truly desperate can be. In a street alley we have a young woman walking through as a shortcut to her dingy apartment on the less than reputable side of the city. With the night sky being the only source of illumination she usually kept a steady pace to get home. Overlooking her shoulder she see's a man walking nonchalantly behind her. Starting to gain speed in her steps, she see's the other end of this dirty alley. Hearing the man snicker snarky and slightly threatening comments she starts to run, heels were not a good choice for this girl tonight. Reaching towards the other end as the sound of the man's footsteps began pounding on the ground she started to feel some relief. In a split second that feeling vanished when the figure of another man appeared to block her exit route. The throbbing of her heart was fearing the possibilities of what can occur from this seemingly destined encounter. Slowing down in her heels she turned to see the man behind her slowly strut to his own enjoyment. As they got close together to surround the woman she only thought one thing tonight, an unpleasant end.

"Please STOP!" The woman screamed.

"Eh shut up will ya? Give us the dam purse and that gold necklace too." The woman couldn't refuse giving the men her purse, it was replaceable, however the necklace was something that couldn't be taken. Handing only the purse made the two men furious. "Hey I didn't exclude that nice little star around your neck.", The mugger said angrily.

"I can't give you that, my bubbe gave me this necklace before she died," she said in an agitated tone. "Please can't the purse be enough?"

The one mugger searched quickly through the purse to find very little. There was only one debit card and ten dollars in one's. "What the hell, you tellin me that your fucking coming up empty." The other mugger tapped his friend. "Hey there is another way she can make up for a lack of green." The two had a hungering look that only the id can provide. That dark and twisted desire to defile a young innocent woman had the muggers move closer to her. She backed up all she could till she touched the wall. Fearing what would happen next she held the star around her neck tight.

"I'm sorry bubbe." Closing her eyes before the horror would begin, she didn't want to see what comes next.

In darkness all she heard was the sound of two loud gunshots. Opening her eyes all she saw in front of her the two muggers both containing a .380 round in their heads. Turning her head to the left she saw a man looking down at her, he lend out a hand to assist her.

" _Are you alright?"_ The tone of his voice was smooth and yet intimidating at the same time. Not being able to see his face the woman hugged the mysterious man for saving his life.

"Thank you for saving me Mistah." Feeling safer now she grabbed her purse to find those ten dollars.

" _Please love, you don't have to."_

"No no no, I must do something to repay you."

" _It was a pleasure itself, I got to save the damsel in distress myself and hell I didn't need a cape, just some lead."_ She giggled from his remark and placed the cash back in her purse.

"Fine. You wanna say I owe you one."

" _Sure, how could I deny the pretty lady?"_

"Mind also telling me your name Mistah?"

" _As you wish. Allow me to introduce myself."_ The illumination of the moon set just right for the woman to see the man who saved her life. It's only funny when you see how unpredictable the predictable seem to be. Her eyes widened from the identity she just discovered.

"It's you!" Her shocked tone made him smile wide.

" _Guilty as charged, people say you would have to crazy to be alone with someone like me."_

"The Joker."

…

" _Yes, the one and only. And who might I ask be the damsel I saved?"_ The woman was still a little startled from everything that just occurred, being saved from a supervillain was unexpected, especially someone of his caliber. She coughed and raised her right hand,

"Harleen...Harleen Quinzel." He grabbed her hand with sincerity.

" _What a pretty name, rework it a bit and you get Harley Quinn."_

"Yeah I've heard that a lot over the years Mistah Joker."

" _Please, Joker was my father's name. Call me J love."_ His joking manner was reassuring to her.

"Sure thing Mistah J."

" _Excellent Harley."_

The two conversed down out of the dark alley. They headed to Harleens apartment. Joker was more than happy to assist.

" _...so you work at Arkham Asylum huh?"_

"Yes, I'm a trained psychiatrist for treating the mentally unbalanced."

" _Oh is that what they're calling me now, did they just assume my mental status?"_ He pretended to be insulted.

"Hehe not at all Mistah J. It's just a technical term."

" _How long have you been employed?"_

"Actually tomorrow will be my first day."

" _Ah okay, I swear I would have seen you eventually. I wouldn't forget such a pretty face."_

"Mistah J are you flirting with me?"

" _Is it working?"_ She leaned to him and whispered in his ear, "It's a start." His smile grew wide with devious thoughts but a quick pause arose when the two reached the townhouse apartment with the cobblestone steps. "Well this is my place." Looking up at it you could see the blue paint chipping with the gutter rusting on the edges but god the roof wasn't better looking much either.

" _Not bad for a beginners start. It actually reminds me of when I first started out in Gotham."_

"Now that's a story I would like to hear." He gave her a purple card, it had a matte finish and intricate styling. Simply containing a phone number, flipping it over it had a littler white jester with a wide grin.

" _Call me. I would love to converse about this sometime, maybe over dinner?"_ She couldn't have imagine her night ending like this, with almost being a murder victim on the news headlines tomorrow from then being rescued by a charming man who happened to be the most dangerous man in Gotham. However fear was not in the atmosphere, together the two felt calm. She was more comfortable talking to a serial killer than most she talked to on a daily basis. Looking into his emerald eyes, she saw something pulling her in, alluring to know more about the clown in purple. She smiled with sincerity and flattery to his offer, a date could just be what the doctor ordered.

"Sounds just perfect." The Joker took her hand with an excited yet calm approach. Raising the hand up he gave it a firm kiss. A pink tone rose to Harley's cheeks. He took notice and said some last remarks, " _It was an honor meeting you Harley, I wish it could have been under certain circumstances but then again I wouldn't have been able to save such an enchanting woman."_

"Maybe it was destiny you did. You're such a kind man and without you I wouldn't be standing here with my savior. Having to depend on someone isn't easy but when you find the right person…"

" _You can feel free to fall."_ Stepping closer in front of him she gave the Clown Prince of Crime a full kiss that paused everything around them. The clouds escaped the sky leaving the moon to reflect off the street. With nobody around the possibility of anything ruining this moment was impossible. Minutes taken away the kiss breaks and the two meet at each other's eyes. The height difference was distinguishable but her heels were helping. Her heart was throbbing and brain releasing vast amounts of Oxytocin, she couldn't resist holding him for further comfort. He didn't resist her need for a little affection.

"Thank you so much Mistah J."

" _My pleasure sweets."_ He was astonished by her recent actions, no one was ever this fond of his presence. Usually when people look at him they ran for the hills. This girl however held on tight to his suit jacket. A feeling emerged that was singular to him, entirely foreign, not feared but accepting. She eventually let go of him, the night was only later and she had a big day tomorrow.

"I'll call you after I get off work." She bit her lip to hide the disappointment she was feeling having to go. He could tell and he found her expressions to be cute. Grabbing her soft face all he could say before getting entranced in those azul eyes of her was simply, " _I'm looking forward to it."_ They both smiled and then he began to walk forward on the sidewalk but not before sending a farewell, " _Goodnight Harley."_

"Goodnight and sweet dreams Mistah J." She felt a little detached with his absence but nevertheless tomorrow is another day, and a date with a clown soon after. The idea is funny to think, being on a date with a homicidal madman. But holding him made her feel safe and secure. And that kiss, she asserted herself fully and he didn't pull back. The desire was mutual on both parties. After no longer seeing him in the far distant she quickly hopped up the stairs and went into her home. Having to get ready for bed she was undressing from her evening attire. Just before putting them in the hamper she inhaled them. It still contained the fragrance he was wearing, Eau de Lacoste L.12.12 Rouge. Such style for a man with a tendency for anarchy. Thinking of him made her pulse beat quicker. To feel a spark of connectivity was rare to see, especially from polar opposites.

The next morning she woke up in her bed. Turning to the side she see's the empty space of the bed. Taking a second to recapture the moments that occurred last night she simply smiled to the thought of talking to him again. The card was on the dresser and catching a glimpse of the clock she knew it was time to get ready for her first day. Heading out the door in a Karen Kane Dress with black wedges to go with it, she swiftly entered her car with a bagel in her mouth. Hopefully it wouldn't smudge the lipstick. The old Honda Prelude her parents bought spewed out some carbon and sparked the ignition and down the road she went.

Off on the way to the Arkham she couldn't help but be excited for her first day. The interview process went well with Dr. Arkham and the past internships were a success to say the least. The references she had were stellar, Dr. Langstrom was more than happy to help. And with being the valedictorian in her class at Gotham University with a doctorate in clinical psychiatry, who could deny her?

Entering through the gates of this esteemed residence, in the back of her head Arkham Asylum is the right fit for her than all the other institutions. To be able to treat the mentally disturbed was a passion that grew with age. To give hope to her previous patients, it allowed the patients to establish trust and open up more which then lead to better treatments and eventually discharge. And with high profiles the facility holds, she can be able to treat the extremely altered.

"Hello Harley." Dr. Leland greeted her when she entered the doctor's entrance of the Arkham Mansion.

"Hello Joan." The two shook hands and began walking around the manor for Harley's introduction tour.

"This facility has been in full capacity since the opening of the hospital in 1809. Originally being built by for the Arkham family in 1764, the owners allowed their home to be the home to those who were disturbed and unstable."

"Yeah, what happened to the family?" Joan swallowed with some discomfort.

"When Dr. Amadeus Arkham, the founder of the manor and hospital first began treatment for the unfortunate, let's just say he held some demons of his own." This peaked Harley's curiosity.

"What would Jeremiah Arkham say?"

"He probably wouldn't respond to your questions."

"I'm sorry for being intrusive, I just like to know the history of old buildings such as this." The gothic beams that went through the halls had such intricate designs it would cost millions just to replicate the craftsmanship. Granted it was a little dark in certain areas of the building but maybe originally the Arkham's wanted some privacy, who knows.

"It's perfectly fine, if this building could talk god there wouldn't be enough time in the day to hear the stories of what they've seen."

"That's exactly true." After touring through the cafeteria, rec room, the courtyard, intensive treatment, and more we finally stop in front of Harley's new office.

"Well I will leave you here for now Harley. Through this done is where you will be conducting most of your sessions. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask." Harley could tell that Joan means well and wants to make friends, she shook Leland's hand and thanked her for being helpful and showing hospitality. Opening the heavy Oak-polished door with the orginal refurbished metal hinges, she couldn't help but gasp at the decor of her new office. A well sizable room that had a cobblestone fireplace next to a mahogany colored leather couch that seemed to be scotch-guarded against the backwall close to the entrance door. A rosewood bookcase was in the left side cornering a ficus from the previous tenant. A decent sized window giving a view to the Kane River which lead into Gotham Bay. But not just the river but the forest that surrounded it but with specks of land open to see nature in it's original order. And of course the right and left side wall was empty and was available for frames of family and friends. The birch desk facing the patient couch had to be over 150 years old if it was a day. It had carvings of what seemed to be wines going in unspecified directions. Something however pulled her away from the craftsmanship, she noticed what seemed to be a gift on the top of her new desk. A red rose in a skinny blue vase. It had a note attached to it. Flipping the card over she the message that came with it.

" _Welcome to the nuthouse, you'll fit in here just fine." - J_

Harley felt comfort from his joke. A ringing noise was heard from her desk phone.

"Hello." She was hoping that he was on the other line.

"Ah yes Dr. Quinzel we have your 10:30 appointment ready for you." The receptionist triggered Harley's mind from her mild moment of forgetfulness. 'Shit' was the word that entered Harley's head. She accidently forgot the patient folder in her Prelude. The first day on the job doesn't always begin smoothly.

"Yes thank you, please wait a couple minutes, I have something to get first."

"Okay Doctor Quinzel buzz me when you're ready." The receptionist said with a snarky tone. She couldn't really focus on that, she needed to get her patient folders. Exiting her office in a flash, the urge not to foul up was increasing as she raced down the hall. Reaching her car she quickly grabbed the folders and then zipped back down into the asylum. When she arrived back into her office, the next immediate action was phoning in the less than pleased receptionist.

"I'm ready now.", said with little breath left.

"About time doctor, we haven't got all day." Boy did she want to scream but her throat was to dry to retaliate. Patience was the key and eventually the kill will just be that much sweeter. Before the orderly entered in with her first patient Harley made a quick glimpse into the folder, well this won't be the most memorable client but it's a start. The door opened, man this is going to be a long day.

The patient sat on the couch and began twiddling his thumbs.

"So Jason Spisak what brings you in today?"

"I have an interest in moths."

"Oy vey."

...

After her first session she felt a little stagnant. The man was obviously suffering from obsession compulsion disorder with this notion of the "mighty moth".This behavior could easily be sedated with an SSRI and some sound counseling from a trained social worker. This wasn't exactly the challenge she was looking for, something a little more complex would be suited for her.

BUZZZ..BUZZZ.

Pressing the speaker for the receptionist she felt unwilling to talk to the rude woman. "Dr. Quinzel there's a package here for you at the front desk." A package? She couldn't imagine whom it would be from. Looking at the clock it appeared to be her lunch break so at least the timing worked. When she headed downstairs to the front desk in the lobby she noticed a well dressed man standing there a holding a black box with a red bow on top. Seeing the blonde doctor he muttered, "Nice choice boss."

"I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said." Harley was curious to what the man wanted. He handed her the pretty box and nodded with a quick message before walking out the lobby entrance.

"Dr. Quinzel this is from a Mr. White, enjoy miss." Before she could ask any further questions the man was already gone.

"I wish a man would bring me boxes to my workplace." Harley smirked, the was the opportunity to befriend the bitch. A handshake was a good start.

"Hello I'm Doctor Quinzel."

"Yeah I know, I called you down here." Man was she a smart alec. Her name tag however said she was Sarah.

"Sarah I feel like we somehow got on the wrong foot and I want to fix that."

"Oh really how?" Harley had to think of something quick to offer, something rational. I believe a number from one of her classmates in grad school would do. Bart was a cute guy but in a platonic way. Last time she checked out on him he was treating people at the free clinic down on Snyder Street. He was also single with a string of bad relationships with some less than reputable characters so a seemingly nice receptionist would be a change of pace in a positive manner. Harley took a sticky note from Sarah's desk and clicked her special session pen. When handing Sarah Bart's name and digits and putting her pen away all she would say before leaving to her office to check her gift was a notion of good intention, "He's a doctor." And with that she speed walked out of the lobby to the elevator as fast as her heels would let her. "Hopefully that will work." said to herself as the elevator went up to the second floor.

Shaking the box a little there was some rattling but it wasn't distinguishable to identify the object or objects. Closing her office door she insisted on rapidly tearing off the top and checking what treats laid inside. The first item she took out was a silver canister with no labeling but an easy to screw lid. Inside there was a little green vial of god knows what. Putting it to the side there was a handmade chicken parm panini with a traveler's mug of red wine. And at the bottom of the little box there was a dark paper note,

" _Consider this another welcoming gift, oh and please don't open the vial love, that's for emergencies only, catch ya soon." - J_

She felt so appreciated by her clown. Just thinking about him was making her dream. The work day was past the halfway point and thanks to being private sector in a mental institution, Arkham has very lenient hours and short durations. There was only one session scheduled for today so besides finishing the patient evaluation for Mr. Spisak, there wasn't exactly a lot left to do. This wasn't bad for the first day. One thing that she still wondered was what the hell is in that green vial? "I guess we'll have to see when the time is necessary."

After she finished her patient evaluation sheet, thus began another long walk to the executive building of the manor. The building held the board meetings, contain the main heads of Arkham, and kept stockholders at bay when money is temporarily at a risk of loss when a patient begins an overturn of the asylum. Well that happened last month from a devilish man with a cynical grin.

And the daydreaming was starting again but before that could pursue any further, she had to turn in the patient evaluation. She exited the intensive treatment ward and headed to the courtyard to save some time going around. The environment was quite calm, it was in a way that you still knew most of the people here are clinically insane but the sound of near nothingness muted the previous presence of white noise in an abnormal society. As she entered the Executive Office her nerves felt uneasy. Granted it was mostly the smell of too much febreze but never the less the area was a little more empty than expected. She went up the stairs to the Arkham's main conference room, there was where the board would meet to decide important decisions for typical financial situations. Entering the conference room she saw two men conversing. One was the head honcho Dr. Jeremiah Arkham and the other was not someone she was familiar with. The man had a nice navy three piece and a little too much product in his hair but had a decent build, not a bad looking individual but she was taken more to her jester.

"Oh Dr. Quinzel I'm glad you're here." Jeremiah turned to shake her hand.

"Dr. Arkham I came here to give you the patient evaluation but I can come at another time if your…"

"No no Dr. Quinzel your timing was perfect. I'd like you to meet our new chief board member Mr. Bruce Wayne."

"Well I wouldn't flaunt that title around much Jeremiah. My company is happy to donate to the betterment of the patients here. I decided to take a more personal involvement in this venture." In Harley's mind she was thinking of how this really would just boost the morale for his company and holding a more caring image, not bad for presentation and reputation. She noticed he was staring at her. "I'm sorry for the impoliteness, I must have left it in my car."

"Yeah probably in the Aston Martin." Harley's comment wasn't received well to Dr. Arkham.

"Harleen can I see you in my office?"

"Sure." She followed Jeremiah to his pristine office. "It was nice meeting you Mr. Wayne." The door closed before Bruce could respond to her.

"You too, I guess."

In the office of Jeremiah Arkham there was tension from Harley's snarky remark. He didn't appreciate her taking jabs at the board, especially the chief of the board.

"What the hell was that?"

"It wasn't meant to be serious, it was just a joke."

"Well I wasn't laughing." In her head: "Heh, you wouldn't know humor if it hit you in the face."

"Sir with all due respect, I see that the asylum will benefit to the donations of Wayne Industries but those checks come with ties."

"Yes and the board will look into all options for future considerations of latter involvement with Wayne Industries. Bruce himself is donating time out of his schedule to be apart of the asylum board."

"What else does he have to do, a billionaire doesn't exactly need the money."

"Harleen I'm not discussing this any further, you bring these issues up at the next board election but until then I don't want there to be any issues understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Go home Harleen, you've done your job exceptionally for your first day. If you cut out the end it would have been perfect. Thank you for the patient evaluation, I do appreciate you sending it to me personally but we have a mail lady for future reference. You are destined for great things Dr. Quinzel. See you tomorrow."

"Thank you sir. See you tomorrow."

And with that Harley left Arkham's office and exited the Executive Building. She was upset and angry with Arkham. She knew he had to be gaining some personal incentives for having Wayne Industries involved with the asylum. The best thing was to just keep moving and not let this ruin the rest of her day. She had other plans to attend. Returning to her office she packed up for the day and began walking out to the walkway which lead to the parking lot. She took out her phone and noticed it was 1:00 p.m., time to go home and enjoy some much needed company. In her purse she flipped the purple card and dialed the number as she headed to her Honda.

" _Hellooo."_ Hearing his smooth voice calmed her down and returned a smile on her face.

"Hi Mistah J, I've been thinking about you."

" _I've been thinking of you too love. Wanna have some fun?"_

"Yes please Mistah J."

" _Excellent, I'll pick you up at your home."_

"I'm looking forward to it." The call ended, having a kick in her step she zoomed to her car and pressed the gas peedle down to get home quickly and spend some much needed time with her clown. "I'm coming J."

...

Thank you all for reading my first installment to my new tale. I'll soon add more chapters and make wonder of this new universe.


	2. Happy Arrival

**Disclaimer: I wanted to reformat this chapter, that's why I'm re-uploading this chapter. I didn't mean to have everything squished together. Sorry for the inconvenience. Also if your new reading this chapter, ignore the disclaimer. Enjoy.**

Zooming through the neighborhoods she was feeling numb. She had to slow down, hitting someone would put a dent in her plans. Craving some intimacy can make a person lose track of reality and their environment. Reaching her apartment she didn't see his car. Actually she never saw him get into a vehicle last night, so much for reference. Anyway that doesn't matter now, there was no sight of her clown so she had a couple minutes to prepare. Parking and running up the stairs she fumbled to get her keys. "Ah ha." Finding them made her proud. A split second she dropped them from her hand unexplainably having tremors. "Shit."

" _Want some help sweets?"_ J was behind her. Harley felt his presence and turned to jump him.

"MISTAH J!" She was so happy to see him she gave him a tight hug. For a considerable height difference, she was quite strong. Joker enjoyed feeling her warmth. He could tell she was the type of girl who craved affection, " _Good",_ he thought.

" _How was your first day dear?"_

"A little stale but hopefully tomorrow will liven up a bit more." She said with some disappointment but he knew how to change her tune. He gave her a deep kiss on the lips and Harley's past troubles seemed to fade away from the pale man's affection.

"I needed that." She said once the kiss ended. He smirked from her response.

" _So did I sweets. I was missing the taste of that cherry lipgloss you wore last night."_ Harley was pleased that he remembered the flavor. It was always her favorite choice to wear.

"You like cherries Mistah J?" He was curious to where she was going with this.

" _Oh yess Harley. In fact I love cherries, especially what you eat them with or how you eat them, hmm hmm."_ His response made Harley pretend to be offended.

"Ah you're such a dirty clown Mistah J." She playfully pushed him back and he began to giggle.

" _Maybe. You'll find out I promise."_

"Ouuu will I J?"

" _When you go purple you never go back."_ She snickered from his statement.

"I wonder what that green vial contained?"

" _That would definitely sting in the netherlands."_ Harley was about to bust a gut.

"Netherlands? What about the nether regions?"

" _They were annexed after the Battle of Titlis."_ That comment made Harley chortle.

"Get in my apartment before I laugh like a hyena." The two entered the townhouse apartment and honestly it didn't look bad for a person's first place after their parents house. Nice cedar floors and decent plaster work from the previous owner. The paint job was debatable with too many spring colors working at once. "I know before you ask I didn't want these colors. I personally prefer different hues of red."

" _Baby you look perfect in red. That was confirmed already by your work attire."_

"Thanks sweetie." Joker was looking around this cozy little abode. "Is everything alright Mistah J?"

" _Oh yeah, I was just wanted to see if anybody else was home."_ She had a little twinkle form in her eye, the doctor wasn't completely innocent.

"Nope. I'm all alone in my abode. Why?"

" _I'm a man who prefers not be disturbed. I usually choose to be alone more often than not."_ That answer confused Harley a little.

"Ugh...I've seen you on tv, you don't exactly portray yourself as an introvert."

" _Now that is excellent showmanship and a passion for a good laugh."_ As he steps closer to Harley his voice became intimidating. " _But when the camera's are off and I'm alone in my wide assortment of hideouts across Gotham, I can be very discreet with my personality and somewhat destructive tendencies."_ She had a realization from his words. He was a man trying to make the world laugh at his antics but even to the world he could only show the surface. To himself he can only show what's behind all the bombs, joker venom, and cyanide pies. Behind was a man struggling to connect to world beyond the means of his laughter. At that moment of silence Harley wanted to give Joker something, assurance.

"Okay Mistah J I understand and appreciate that your sharing this with me, it means a lot." He smiled from her open-mindedness.

" _Come here Harleen."_ The two were entwined into one. Passion was in the atmosphere, so thick you could cut it with a knife. Harley never was close romantically to any man before him. Being a grad student deviated her free time from writing papers and performing research studies with professors to gain experience and work-study to pay off some college loans. Not really having a lot of experience in relationships however was a little embarrassing in the back of her head. Now it doesn't really matter, she has someone who seems to want nothing but her and frankly in such a lonely world she didn't want to let go of this new found happiness. (Personally none of us do).

Tasting him was such a delight. His lips tasted like bourbon, so smooth and soft as well. Boy he is such a great kisser, his motions confirmed her ideas of him being a persuasive individual, and it worked for her. Each second their mouths were locked together they were closer to ripping each others clothes off. The desire was there, the passion was growing, the want was begging.

Joker felt like tearing that dress off her sexy little body. The sensuality was overloading the senses. This girl was truly different to him than he thought. " _Do you still want to go out love?"_

"No. I just want to be here with you sweetie." Being with him was slowly becoming an addiction and frankly he was starting to have mutual desire.

" _Great, I'll call one of my associates to pick up some italian…"_

"Ouu and some wine, I haven't found the time and the money lately to get some nice aged pinot noir."

" _Don't worry pumpkin, only the best for us tonight, I want to remember our first dinner for years to come."_ Harley was so excited to have a dinner date with her handsome fellow. Not to mention he said years, YEARS! "EEEK I can't wake." She held onto him tighter and he repaid the affection. Joker had another idea in play to make tonight even better but he had to get Harley out of the apartment for a little bit.

" _Hey beautiful, mind if we go out for a bit?"_

"Oh, okay Mistah J. What about dinner sweetie?" He cupped her face and cooed at her.

" _Don't worry honey, we'll be back for dinner. A part of the dinner is a surprise actually so we have time to spare. You trust me pooh, don't you?"_ Harley was worried that he was beginning to have feelings of doubt in her so she proved to him that he can trust his Harley, always no matter what. Firmly she pressed her lips to his to block anymore thoughts from entering his mind. She traced her hand across his chest. "Don't you work out handsome.", she thought in her mind. Some thoughts of her own were beginning to cloud her mind but she wanted him to know that she is always trustworthy to her Mistah J. After stopping the kiss she whispered in his ear, "Of course, there's no else I would trust more than you sweetie."

" _A girl after my heart, life can be so fulfilling. C'mon sweets let's have an adventure."_ He led her out the door and he made a quick call before catching up to her. " _Hey get Tony on the line."_ The henchman on the other line redirected J to discuss afternoon plans with his little girl.

"Good afternoon Mr. Joker what pleasure do I owe on this occasion ." He said while he was eating.

" _I need a favor."_ When Tony heard that he choked briefly. A couple seconds of silence passed and this didn't help but test his patience.

"I'm sorry, my hearing can sometimes be selective but did I just heard…"

" _Yes and I don't wish to reiterate."_

"Okay fine but you do realize that I'm booked for today."

" _Yes and I'll pay double what your client paid, consider it a token for the abrupt inconvenience I've given you."_

"That will make us square for sure," Tony said with slight sarcasm. "What's the address J?"

" _1992 East Sorkin Street."_ He heard Tony write down the address down.

"Great J I'll be down with the supplies shortly and everything will be ready in a couple hours."

" _Thanks again Tony. I'll later check your progress later as the day becomes dim."_ He ends the phone call and turns to see an impatient Harley sticking her head out the window.

"Mistah J get in here, your Harley needs you." He found it funny how she just began yelling out the window. J ran into the car quickly to make sure he wasn't seen out in public. God just imagine what could be the outcome of further exposure. As the escort drifted through Gotham Square we see the two giggling from just the beginning of a lovely afternoon. "So where are we heading sweetie?"

" _A secret spot I go when I require solace. I think you'll find it soothing."_ Harley was even more curious about where they were going.

Twenty minutes driving out to the outskirts of the city limits Harley notices that they were parked at the top of a secluded highrise terra that faced the Gotham skyscrapers perfectly from a far. Jay opened the door and helped her out of the car. J peaked to his driver, " _Just wait in the car David, consider this a break."_ David calmly nodded, "Yes, thank you sir." The couple walked out to face the open scenery. Holding hands to the edge was a decent start. Harley was so happy to be alone with her clown, especially at such a beautiful location. Joker was growing more fond of her presence, " _Honey."_

"Yes, Mistah J."

" _How's the view?"_ Looking at the city he showed comfort in their seclusion.

"Actually I have a better view from here." J noticed Harley was looking at him and he blushed. "Ou honey you're blushing, I didn't know the Clown Prince of Crime blushed from compliments."

" _Only from you pumpkin."_ He pulled her into his grip. Their passion was growing as they nearly desired to devour each other. He planted a full long-lasting kiss on her lips and drew back, there were some pink appearing in her cheeks. " _Oh sweets you're blushing, hehe."_ It was hard for Harley to not chuckle madly from his humor.

"Only from you Mistah J." They sat down on the grass and stared at the scenery. J reached for her hand, Harley was more than happy to oblige. She was quite surprised to see how a man with such a hunger for disorder and chaos would have a craving for serenity and momentary silence. There was more to her clown than what the white skin would reveal. So far for a first date she could honestly say that this was a success. A further question was what was going on her _puddin's_ mind. He seemed lost in the view of the towers. "Sweetie." There was no response. He was practically still and she grew worried. Shrugging his shoulder still there was no effect. She decided to scream in his ear, "MISTAH J!" He jumped to the abrupt sound of the slightly angry dame.

" _What what what is it?"_ Joker was practically dumbstruck by what just occurred. " _God Harley you nearly gave me a heart attack."_

"You were stuck like a statue and I wanted to make sure you weren't I don't know DEAD."

" _Jeez well I'm certainly pumping blood now."_

"What happened Mistah J?"

" _I was in a trans thinking and looking back to my past."_

"Laughs and giggles, but something more deeper perhaps." He grinned.

" _Your good. I remember when I was little my family would take us to this same spot when they decided to go out before heading to the countryside for vacations. Times have definitely changed but the memories have had a better chance of sticking lately."_ Harley didn't know, hell no knew about this. The Joker had recollections of his past? Previous records have shown no indication of any past relations with anyone. " _Maybe it's because I'm finding myself in a state of calm and enjoyment when I'm with you."_

"Good." The two stared at each other. It was as if they were destined to meet in this life. Neither ever thought that this was how their Monday would be spent. Harley licked her lips in anticipation. Her azure eyes were locked to his emerald ones, they had her in a trans in an instant. Leaning in both were ready to taste the other's tongue again. Closer, closer, closer. As they were about to lock in each other's mouth…

"BZZZZ, BZZZZ." Harley's phone went off and boy she was a little peeved. The moment of succulent bliss was upon them and then interrupted, "enough" she thought. Let's see who it is.

"Damn it. Will you excuse me J?" She was feeling a little sad that her phone stopped the moment.

" _Of course dear."_ He was a little disappointed by the interruption but patience is a virtue he must learn, especially when it comes to being in a relationship.

"Thank you sweetie, this will be quick I promise." She got up and answered it. "Hello?" Her tone has a slight hint of spite to the unknown recipient.

"Dr. Quinzel?"

"Who's this?"

"Wayne, Bruce Wayne." The first thought that crossed her mind was how the hell did he get her number. Probably greased his palms to get some info on her for the not so great first impressions.

"What can I help you with Mr. Wayne?"

"I just wanted to apologize for what occurred earlier today. I didn't mean to offend you in any way. Sometimes I don't know my manners, I hope you can accept my apology." Harley was impressed by him taking the were probably gonna see each other eventually, it would be rare but there was no need for any future awkwardness down the road. And honestly she didn't want to keep her _puddin_ waiting any longer, he is such a good boyfriend to her and she loves that dearly about him.

"Thank you very much Mr. Wayne, I will accept your apology. Now if you excuse me I'm on a very important date right now. Goodbye." And with that the phone was off and she happily skipped right back to her clown. "Mistah J." She says while jumping into her arms. "Miss me?" Not being able to stop from puckering her lips at him. The Joker quickly gave his Harley a full kiss on the lips.

" _Harley, baby, sweetie, pumpkin pie, you know I do. Now where were we?"_ The two made out behind the bushes with such ferocity. He enjoyed a girl who liked it rough, it suits better for later…

Some time flied as the two sucked face, not being able to keep their hands off each other. Luckily no one was around, how awkward would it be to see a woman make out with a deranged psycho killer covered in white. Reaching up his arm sleeve she noticed that the color surpassed his forearm. In fact he wasn't covered in some white material, his pigment was actually white as snow. It drawed more notice from Harley on how his transformation occurred.

" _Sweets are you distracted?"_ He didn't mind the curiosity behind his looks, hell the previous doctors had asked what event occurred that made him look the way he did. All he replied with was that he wanted to look like a ghost for Halloween. Only one other person that knew the truth besides him was probably scouting out plans for preventing criminal endeavours for tonight.

The way she look memorized by his appearance gave him an ego boost, flattery for his soul. Don't get him wrong he felt inferior to the true beauty of his little Harlequin. It's funny what life will give ya isn't it. "Sorry sweetie, I couldn't help if I was looking at you like a piece of meat?"

" _Ya wanna know how I taste?"_ He teased her with a playful whistle at her left earlobe. She shivered with pleasure and he knew she wanted more. "Yes."

" _Hmm Hmm."_

"What?"

" _I'm so glad I saved you sweets."_

"Me too Mistah J, me too." She wondered where she would be right now if he wasn't in her life, probably sitting on her couch and watching old sitcoms that aired before she was even born. This was definitely gonna go down as a well played Monday.

The two laid on the grass embracing each other without a care in the world. They stared into their other's irises. Her warm smile settled well with his charming wicked one. In the back of the Joker's head he needed to check on how dinner was going but he was kinda between a rock and a hard place, she really did have a strong grip. That will come in handy for future endeavours.

"Soooooooo." She said in a playful tone. "What's the next place you want to take me?" He grinned as a response.

" _My home."_

"Really, what about dinner?"

" _Don't worry, we'll be on time for dinner. I think you'll enjoy the view pumpkin."_

"Where is your home?"

" _You'll have to see for yourself."_ He picked his Harley up swiftly and ran towards his car. Harley was surprised by his level of vitality. "Hold up Mistah J." Joker immediately stopped in his tracks.

" _Is there something wrong sweets?"_

"No sweetie everything is lovely. I just want something to remember this moment by." Instinctively J came up with an idea to satisfy her wishes. " _Wait here beautiful."_ He quickly went to the tree behind their bush and carved something sweet that he knew his Harley would enjoy. After that he called Tony before heading back to his girl.

"Yello."

" _Hey Tony how are you with setting up the dinner?"_

"I'm sorry man I still an hour. There was a previous mixup with the meat and…"

" _It's whatever Tony, look I just want have a lovely dinner with my special lady and if it's gonna take a little extra time so be it. It's being with her that will make the dinner worth it in the end."_ On the other end he heard some sniffling. " _Tony are you crying?"_

"Yes, I'm sorry. That was just so very kind of you Joker. I had no idea that you were so involved in this woman. I'm looking forward to meeting her."

" _She's wonderful."_

"I'm so happy for you Jay."

" _Thanks Tony, we'll be by in an hour. Oh and give Michael my regards."_ With his phone turned off he got back to what he wanted most, her.

"So Mistah J, what did you do."

" _You'll have to come back to see it sweets. It's something that we can both remember this day by. I'm sure you will appreciate it."_

"I know I will, thank you so much for the this. I feel so lucky to have such a sweet, caring, loving, and though clown in my life to take me on such thoughtful dates." He kissed him.

" _My pleasure pumpkin. The day isn't over yet. David start the engine and take us home."_

"Yes sir."

As the car went back into town the two made themselves well acquainted with the leather seat in the back, luckily there was a divider in the car with black tinted windows. We wouldn't want anyone to see now would we :)


	3. Unexpected

"Wow Mistah J it's..., just dam."

" _I know I'm gifted with this blessing."_

"It sooo big sweetie."

" _Oh stop it pumpkin, you're making me blush."_ The two were in the basement of his penthouse staring at his wine cellar. " _Yeah I've been collecting over the years and I think some fermented grape juice will be appropriate for our_ _ **first**_ _dinner."_ He never really had company over much if any at all. A time and again he thought to contact the bat to come over and catch up for old times sake but then again he couldn't have the GCPD confiscate this awesome penthouse and everything inside (besides the wine of course). Actually this was the first official date for the Joker. His visions of the past are hazy but even before the incident, dating was never much of a priority. Being a man of intellect with the goal of making everyone in Gotham laugh, time is his most valuable possession, especially when making up schemes to kill the bat. A woman can tend to shift the direction of a man's attention though, he was definitely becoming a victim of the doctor.

Harley looked at his massive collection and grew a little tired from trying to decide which wine was best for their **first** date. "I gotta say Mistah J I don't know what to choose. I'll just have you pick the wine. I'm sure you know what's best."

" _Yes indeed. I like to believe I have excellent taste,..."_ He got closer to her and

nuzzled her neck sensually. She shivered from his mouth placing a small trail of kisses that led up to her shoulder. " _...and I'm not talking about the wine."_ This was hard for her not to rip the suit off his body and jump him with immediacy. She was starting to become a little wet and she wondered how long it would take him to notice. It was just something about his outputs of affection that began the water works. Granted she's not soaking yet but another sneak attack and well….

"Mmmm Misstaah J, you really know how to woo a girl."

" _With you it all comes natural to me sweets."_ The two were both entranced in each other's mouths. Some tongue play was in order while they continue sharing air under the craving for more of the other's oxygen. She was helpless in his actions of passion and all she wanted to do at that moment was let go. To fall and know that there would be someone to catch her was causing her heart pump with such a pace J could hear it thumping loud. Both eventually broke the kiss and stared at each other. Their expressions of happiness was matched with how this date has unraveled. To be in the presence of someone that makes you feel like life is just grand, everything has a new perspective to it. Think of it like a filter, it adds a layer to your vision to give you a sense of differentiation upon reality, their energy has that depth of impact on how perfect things can be and as they knew this was happening neither couldn't imagine going back to an "ordinary" life, that was not an option.

"Sweetie."

" _Yes love."_

"Ya ever get bored in this penthouse, just seems like you don't use this space a lot honey."

" _You couldn't be more right sweets, I don't use this penthouse to the fullest extent of my abilities. It's mainly due to my life as a sadistic homicidal but comical clown hehe."_ Harley smiled from his silliness.

"And handsome of course. But don't you ever get lonely though Mistah J?"

" _No, I have you."_ She immediately latched onto her clown, pleased with his response. He felt the attack of a hundred kisses on his face. For some reason the thought of humming birds licking sugar water was in his head, probably for comparison to this moment. Deep down he was loving her affection and found it cute how quickly she turned to putty in his hands. He tried to imagine what would happen if he got her jewelry in the future say for an anniversary, or a proposal.

Something drew his attention definitely, feeling like his pants were getting a little damp. Wait that doesn't sound right, his pant's were just dry a moment ago, and he didn't spill any wine or liquids…..ohhh.

He was getting turned on from her wetness for him but he had to control himself for now, there was dinner waiting for them and he doesn't want to mix food with sex, at least not yet, maybe on the fifth date. He grabbed her and passionately gave her some sugar. Her moaning response made him know that this was gonna be hard, no pun intended.

" _Pumpkin?"_ There was some seriousness in his tone but he still kept his devious remarks present. This was the first time seeing his little Harley wet and frankly he was gonna have a little fun.

"Yes sweetie."

" _I sensed a shift in the moistness of my trousers. I feel like I am the cause of these May showers."_ Harley blushed from him noticing her wetness. Wondering what he would do next was killing her but soon she would discover he enjoyed to keep the anticipation more than most. A couple seconds passed later and " _Weellll…"_

"You make me feel good." That was music to his ears.

" _I aim to please. I have to ask one thing though."_

"What Mistah J?"

" _Are you a virgin Harleen?"_ Her cheeks turned rosy red, some embarrassment, she hesitated to respond but he already knew the answer. " _Aww pooh there's nothing to feel embarrassed about. I quite honored actually. I get to teach the doc a thing or two."_ She giggled and playfully smack him.

"My dirty clown. Do you even produce swimmers Mistah J?" He looked at her as if she stabbed him in the back. He responded sounding like an english professor. " _Of course my dear harlequin I do in fact secrete the sperm needed to perform my duty as a male in this bare world of ours…."_ He strutted closer to his jester and picked her up with swiftness, " _...the acid didn't take anything from me sweets, it just opened my horizons."_ He gave her an eskimo kiss and then began tickling her immensely. "Hehe stop it J, you know how sensitive I am." Her laughter was broken into incomprehensible segments that an audiologist would have trouble listening to. The Joker felt like breaking the laughter with an act of passion. Deep down he hoped that this wasn't too forward. " _Ohh I can imagine love."_ He groped her breast with a firm grasp. Her panties were about to become soaked. "Ouuu J you definitely blew up the dam."

" _I have plenty of dynamite."_

…

J laid some covers over his resting Harley. Once she was perfectly tucked into his bed, he headed to the bar in his living room to make a drink and a quick phone call.

" **Zzzz zzzz."**

"Yes Sir?"

" _Yes David my good man I need you to go to the address I sent you earlier today and enter the home. Tony should be there and probably peeved, so take some of the cash in the glove compartment and give it to him. Also tell him I'm sorry and that I owe him one as well as I'll give him a call tomorrow."_

"Yes Mister Joker. Is there anything else?"

" _Ah yess. Pick up the food he made. There's no sense in wasting that delicious cuisine."_ His appetite was there from a long day of consuming nothing but Ritz crackers and V8. There was also what he did to his Harley, she sleeps like a baby after daddy came to her aid and gave her a good reliever. Now now before we look at this man with a change of outlook we have to know that he didn't go the whole way, he's a gentlemen. He's not some iniquitous, vile man. Granted I'm not sure what you're beliefs are when it comes to the end of a well performed date but hey, the lady needed some sugar.

J made a scotch on the rocks and gulped it in a second. He made another one but this was neat. All he did for ten minutes was roam the halls of his home. He needed to process what will come of this, there was never an instance when he added someone in the loop. Everyone else sorta came along in time over the years as he stayed in Gotham. This however was different, he wanted her to stay, and maybe more. Finishing his scotch he sauntered into the bedroom. Looking at her calmly sleeping in his bed gave him aspiration that this could lead to something new, something beautiful, something funny.

He entered the bed naked to get comfortable. Before drifting into another dreamless night all wanted to say to the sleeping doctor at that moment was, " _You are an amazing woman. I'll make you something nice in the morning."_ He kissed her goodnight and felt happy. The happiness was different from the norm, not the same as when he kills humorless individuals or when he's on the brink of finally breaking the bat, but sleeping with someone who could see past his homicidal side created a sense of curiosity to the joy, what else could come about being with another person. He wanted to say more to his Harley but he didn't want her to start running for the hills. Nevertheless today was a success and now he just wanted to wake up to see her face as the sun began to rise.

…..

A glaring light burst through the darkness that he had become too accustomed with. The Joker felt awakened but not actually, this was very unusual. Sensing his surroundings revealed that he was in a condensed space, like a closet. The light appearing from the hinges and sill. He opened the door, walked into a room with some confusion, he had no idea where he was.

" **Ding Ding Ding Ding."**

" _Huh. Now that sounded like a school bell. Wait that doesn't make much sense at all. There's nothing here, just emptiness."_ Turning around he saw what appeared to be a typical high school class room. A chalk board with old smudges that the janitor forgot to clean the previous night, those oddly fused desks with chewing gum under them if you're lucky. Other presents would consist of a crudely shaped penis secrete semen profusely.

He stepped to one and noticed someone drew a tilted swastika. He rolled his eyes from the sight, " _Woww...god people really need to step up on creativity and originality."_ Looking up he stared at the dimly lit yellow fluorescent lightbulbs. He immediately felt the type of disgust that urged to burn this place to the ground, " _Fuck High School."_ The chalkboard began to write by itself without warning. Joker had quickly focused on the message at hand to see what his subconscious wanted to say.

A happy individual can simply demonstrate their satisfaction, but every now and then you have to give them a hand.

" _Huh now that's interesting. I wonder if this about someone else. Being me, I'm pretty proud of myself and what I contribute to Gotham. Yes it has to be."_ A split second later he heard a scream. It was feminine. It had intensity to it but not with fear, in fact with pleasure. " _Mmmm oh who could that be?"_ He smirked alone with the moans of her excitement. As the satisfaction grew so did his grin. Leaving the room he quickly looked for the source of the delightful noise. Turning around the hall he discovered the epicenter of those decibels that rang lovely in his ears. Reading the door he noticed it was the principal's office. On the other side of the door was a girl that needed a hand and he was more than happy to assist. Before he entered he chuckled from what was to occur, " _Me and my corrupted mind."_

Pushing the door open revealed a sight he couldn't unsee, and frankly he didn't want to either. He saw his Harley sitting on top of the principal's desk. She was wearing a catholic schoolgirl uniform with the absence of a black skirt. In her hand was a wooden crucifix and she had been playing with her pussy in wait for her clown. Pulling out the wood from her cunt she licked it to catch all the juices on her tongue and savour the taste. She looked at him, the glimpse of desire escaped her azul marbles. Standing up and walking to him she lifted the crucifix up to his mouth. J licked it and felt an erection forming. " _Ah just as delicious as I remember sweets. What's this?"_ He noticed the little minx was wearing a black leather choker. He tightened it and felt her pulse increase.

"Yes Daddy tighter."

" _Oh you dirty girl."_ To remember any dream this was definitely one of them. " _Tell me dear, what do you want right now?"_

"You inside me." The two were entranced in the others gaze. Harley unzipped his pants to meet his member. Joker threw her back on the desk to show her what happens when good girls are obedient to daddy. Those luscious legs she possessed were playing with his cock. She had pantyhouse on and he ripped them off with his teeth. Just as soon as J was about to ride his Harley he heard a ringing in his head. The noise paralyzed him. Unfortunately as the sound got louder he couldn't think and everything stopped around him.

" **Ring Ring Ring."**

J woke up to the sound of his cell going off. If he didn't have all his contacts and clients listed, he would have smashed the shit out of that phone. He also didn't want to wake up Harley due to it only being 4:30 in the morning. Turning to his side he saw her still peacefully sleeping. The little smile formed on her lips made him feel happy to be with her. He never believed in coincidences, things happen for a reason. Not that he believed in some higher power no, he believed in the rules of human nature.

He tried to shift out of bed but couldn't. Harley had her arms wrapped around her clown for comfort. What surprised him was that he did not notice. A part of him was worried that he might become soft with her around. But he knew that if he was gonna let anyone in, it was gonna be her. There was no need to fear what the future holds. All we can do live and hope for the best.

Being up now was an inconvenience. The sun isn't even up yet and he is wide awake. He personally felt like going for a drive. Harley probably won't wake up for a while. There will be breakfast prepared when he gets back, this was gonna be a long drive.

Joker twisted and turned like how Ross did to Rachel in that one episode of Friends. Successfully getting out of the bed he quickly put his clothes back on and headed to the elevator to go down to the underground garage. There was a number pad that appeared from side above the buttons when he said "Napier". He inserted the code: 42540. A retinal scanner revealed itself. Scanning his left eye the machine glowed green with the response, " **Greetings Mr. Joker. Where do you want to go?"**

" _The garage."_

He had to make a couple accommodations to the boards and councils of the company that owns this building. But not to worry Lexcorp appreciates the donations, it's a tax write off. " _Like I pay taxes,"_ he said to himself. Looking at the elevator it went down at medium speed. Going to "B1...B2…...J1." The elevator opened to a completely private garage that only a small handful of people knew about. The cars he possessed had speed and flash. The one he felt like driving though was the Zenvo ST1. Now that was fun to drive on the highway when no one is on the road. It had the shade of midnight purple with Xenon blue lights to see during his night drives. Revving the engine he sped up the secret tunnel that was motion activated to open the side building wall. The incline up always made a jump, especially for this supercar.

Driving through the streets of downtown Gotham there was little around. Luckily all the intersection lights were lit green. He entered onto the Keaton Expressway and went into sixth gear. The sound of 1240 horsepower was near deafening with the windows down. The highway was an eight lane and had nearly no cars on it. This was the Jokers autobahn. Feeling the wind blowing in the car was refreshing and helped keep him awake. Burning rubber was a nice way to burn off steam or just when he was bored. His boredness never really occurred often but sometimes you just have the passion to get up and move.

The top speed of this beast was 375 kpm which worked well on the straight sections of road. Zooming by a cop he instantly chuckled. " _You pigs need to pay attention. You don't want to get cooked from my exhaust."_ The siren went but in an instant they were in the clowns dust. He got off on Snyder Street to make a quick little stop at Harleen's home. There wasn't much he had to do there, he just wanted to examine the townhouse to know what he had to work with for the future. He entered the home and took pictures of all the rooms. In the kitchen he left a few $100 bills, " _Just for something fun."_

Soon after he entered back into the car and drove back on the highway, he wanted to see how many laps he could do around Kane bridge. The clock in the Zenvo showed the time to be 5:24 a.m. He still had plenty of time, Harley had to be at work around 9:00 a.m. and he only needed at least an hour for breakfast. There was also the possibility of other things as well but we'll have to see.

Around 6:09 a.m. The Joker was finished with his racing pursuit of Gotham for this morning. Breaking so many speeding laws actually gave him quite an appetite. Before heading back home he went to the drive thru of a Burger King on Miagani.

" **Welcome to Burger King, how may I take your order?"**

" _Ah yes I would like a Whopper with extra pickles and extra mayonnaise, a medium fry, and a small root beer, I'm trying to watch my figure, hehee."_

" **Okay sir, that will be $5.86. Please go to the next window."**

" _Noice."_ He followed the narrow drive thru lane to the first window. A woman nonchalantly looked at the computer to see The Joker's order.

" **$5.86 plea…"** The lady was dumbstruck to see The Joker in the car in front of the window. All he could do is grin to the woman's fear. He handed her $6, " _Please keep the change."_ " **Thank you."** She said in an intimidated tone. He went to the next window. " **Here you go...oh shit."**

" _Now son, is that any way to talk to your elders."_

" **No..no sir I'm sorry sir. Here you go."** The scared employee gave Joker the bag containing salt, sugar, and fat. " _Good boy,"_ His tone voice changed to see if he could get the boy to piss himself. " _If I can back here and you use that nasty language around me I will personally cut off your tongue and make you eat it before I gun you down with the Glock 17 in my pocket. GOT IT!"_ J saw the kid look down at his pants before quickly responding.

" **...yes."** Jackpot.

" _Have it your way, hahahahaha."_ Joker spun off the lane to get out of the area quickly. It was only a matter of time before the police show up and he wanted to eat his burger in peace. He went below an overpass to eat his first morning meal. " _God would Harley approve of this choice of food. She may be a psychiatrist but she still had medical training. It will work in handy when I go into cardiac arrest from all this junk."_ Throwing out the bag into the street he zoomed back to his home to get back to his Harley. The sun was just starting to peek through the horizon. Activating the fake wall entrance he maneuvered through the sharp corners. He parked the "bullet" and headed to the elevator. Now being on his floor he exited the elevator and was outside his main door. " _Time to start the day."_

Taking off all his clothes, shift back into bed, and wrapped her arms around him once again. Everything was back into place. He saw the clock on the nightstand, it read 6:37 a.m. The sun was beginning to rise in the sky. With the windows lifting up the shades automatically the rays of the sun shined through the glass. It seemed to radiate on her, the golden threads of her hair were glowing from the light. It was a sight he never wanted to forget especially for the first time. Her eyes slowly opened in the midst of the sun's glow. She smiled once seeing her lover's eyes. Getting a tighter hold around her clown she gave him a deep kiss.

" _Good morning love."_

"Good morning sweetie. Is that Barq's I taste."

" _It's helps me sleep sometimes."_

...


	4. Morning Wash

In the midst of what looked to be a sound day we see Harleen in The Joker's bed. From the events that occurred he couldn't help but offer her a place to sleep, his little girl was too tired to move after dessert. Anyway in like of the past couple hours, The Joker made like of his situation and eventually returned to the soft embrace of his Harley, only in the nick of time to.

" _So pumpkin how did you sleep?"_

"I slept splendidly handsome. How about you?"

" _If I'm too be honest sweets it was different. I never shared a bed with someone before. But I did enjoy having you hold me."_

"I'm so happy we did this..." She was immediately cut off.

" _There was one thing though."_ As I could presume about this individual there was a million thoughts going through her head to try to come with what The Joker was gonna say. " _You kinda hogged the sheets last night. It's kinda ironic actually."_

"Why?"

" _Because there on the floor beautiful."_ Harley peeked over at her side to notice that the sheets made a journey to his purple cashmere carpeting.

"Whoops sorry about that sweetie, I didn't mean to take all the covers. Come to

think of it I felt a little cold last night." Holding him she looked slightly embarrassed, Joker snickered at her.

" _Don't worry Harley I don't mind being held for warmth. Just think of me like your personal swiss army knife. As you'll learn I have many unique talents and skills sweets,"_ Harley curled into him. "Well the one you showed me last night was definitely a good start puddin." A look of shock consumed The Joker's face. In his head processing the name: " _Wait what did she just call me? Huh puddin aye! I never even gave her pudding, so much for dessert tonight. It's not that bad actually, I'm delicious. In the future she'll undoubtedly confirm that as well when we make love on these sheets. Shit I'm starting to drift. Time is beginning to resume, get back now!"_ As the pause recommenced Harley was anxious to see how he'd react to that name. So far her clown hasn't made a facial expression of the last word of that sentence. In her head waiting: "Oh boy why hasn't he said anything yet. Dammit he doesn't like, or maybe he does and I'm just too impatient, I need to work on that. I want him to like it so bad, it fits him right. Such a sweet man, my sweet clown. I hope he'll always know that deep down."

Back in the motion of reality the clock presumed ticking.

The Joker held an affectionate laugh. " _Hmm...Puddin, where did you come up with that love?"_ There was a moment of shyness before she responded.

"When you held me last night I felt your soft touch that I've never felt from anyone else. It was asserting, comforting, allowing me to pull down my defenses and insecurities. The person known for committing "heinous" acts against society with no regards for others makes me feel like the only person in their world. You're my puddin Mistah J."

" _And you're my sweet little jester,"_ Yeah she's a keeper, there was never a doubt in his mind. " _I love the name Harleen. Of all the names I give to you, I expected you would give me one that will stick and believe me, I enjoy your selection sweets."_

"Yayyyy." The two filled their mouths with the other's tongue. Joker pinned her to the bed playfully in mid kiss.

" _Want some breakfast pooh?"_

"After you give moi some sugar."

" _Oh that was already included in the menu,"_ They continued to bask in the moment as the morning sun gave them warmth. Joker began to ravish his Harley with some delightful foreplay. She wanted to taste him, show him her dirty voice. Looking at the clock it was dawning towards seven. She'll show him some moves he'll never forget soon. It will happen during one night, her puddin will need to sleep after she's done with him. Hell she will need too as well after riding her clown for hours. God that thought was beginning to make her moist down south of the equator. " _Honey, you okay?"_

"Yeah puddin, why you ask?"

" _You were unresponsive when I asked whether you wanted an omelette or pancakes."_ A rumbling sound engulfed the bedroom. The Joker looked half-shocked by the loudness this woman could make. Well that wasn't the first time though, last night he wished he had some noise plugs. He's too good in the oral department, what a curse huh. " _Both then."_

She giggled, "Nah we can just have the omelette Mistah J. I think I need to take a shower though, I didn't get to last night. That's the one place you didn't show me. Wanna wash your Harley Mistah J?"

" _Oh honey, you're gonna come out of that shower dirtier than when you went in."_ He spanked her bare ass and ran into the bathroom with a persistent Harley chasing after him. The two spent the next twenty minutes cleaning the other in the most sensual manner. When Harley saw his cock when washing his nether regions she gulped. "Ouu Mistah J you're penis." He looked at her mischievously. " _Yes love, what about it?"_

"It's so white." She knew his body was altered by the accident he endured but dam, every part of his body was altered. The veins on it had a tint hue of purple. She was impressed by her clown's size, it wasn't erect yet until she traced her soft hand across the tip of his shaft. He approved with groans of pleasure, " _Mmmm."_

"Ya like that puddin don't cha?" She felt his member grow as she gained a hard grasp on his cock. The veins showed their presence as he became more excited. He liked how she jerked him. Never did he imagine this would happen, in his shower about to be blown by such a intoxicating woman. No one truly knows what comes next in their life but you can hope for the best. Both have a feeling of attraction that many miss on unfortunately in this life but for those who do fortunately approach this rare sensation, the beginning is the pathway to a powerful connection that can never be broken. These two were still starting to embark on that journey.

" _Wanna suck my cock Harley?"_ She trembled with want. His fully erect penis was ready for oral. With her face only a couple inches from his monster, she couldn't resist the temptation to taste her puddin's pudding. Licking her lips, saliva traveling down her throat with anticipation she turns to J with a look of covet, "Yes Daddy." Inserting her full tongue around his rod she made him create vast amounts of pleasure. " _Ahh Fuck!"_ He grabbed her head and forcefully emplaced his cock further into her mouth. Back and forth the motions continued with The Joker fucking Harley's face. She quickly took control and slurp the tip again making him nearly succumb to his knees. Taking his cock out of her mouth, she continued stroking it lustfully. "How does it feel sweetie?"

" _It feels incredible Harley, you surely have the magic touch."_ He squeezed her left breast with firmness, her cheeks were flushed from his quick action. Rubbing her nipple counterclockwise made her approve with pleasure. "So do you Mistah J." In response she played with his testes, massaging them then sucking them one at a time gave way to new methods of satisfaction.

She kissed him from his head to his crotch. He licked her neck and bit the skin with slight pressure. "Ahhhh yes harder Daddy." He obliged and clamped tighter on her neck, about to break the skin he stopped to further advance his foreplay to her pelvic area. Tracing his finger down her legs there was aching coming from his little jester. "Mistah J."

" _Yes love?"_ He already knew what she wanted, the urge to reach the zenith of climax, to experience immense pleasure at the very hand of your significant other. This was just like last night in his bed, her panting for the feeling of her lover's hand inside her. The aching for consuming the other was strong, to just fuck her warm tight cunt was driving him insane and in vice versa as she desired him to penetrate her wetness with his monster.

"Play with my pussy pleasssee." He picked her up into an upward 69 position. This was he could eat her out while she sucked his cock. The Joker kept his stamina holding his Harley, she was a little timid about not touching the ground but knew that he wouldn't harm her. That thought was swiftly gone once she felt his tongue swipe her clit from left to right and repeat. "Oouuuu." He did a figure eight motion with his tongue around through her vagina, this was to cover multiple parts like the labia minora and labia majora to the hymenal caruncle and clitorus. He knew it was working when her legs began shaking on the verge to that one goal all guys want to achieve to their women, climax. Taking her lover's cock out of her mouth she screamed.

"Oh yessss pudddin keep eating out your Harley." Continuing the motion she soon squirted like a damaged water pipe that was just hit with a sledgehammer. Her cum splashed out and J's head was the main target. Being temporarily blinded by her juices all he could hear was her chuckling from that extreme orgasm. The laughter was contagious with him joining in. " _If only the shower head had that kind of pressure."_ He plopped her down to the shower ground. She wasn't going to let her puddin walk out of this shower without tasting his swimmers. Resuming the strokes but at a greater speed J felt the nearing of his climax. Before that he decided to give her pretty little mouth one more good fucking before she tasted his spunk. Thrusting in and out she slobbered on his rod. She stared at him while he fucked her face. He looked into those pretty azul gems of hers. They reminded him of the ocean and past endeavours. He felt lucky to find such a woman with a strong connection to him, no not with past experiences but with passion. It's an option that's possible within us and when we find that one person, well I don't need to tell you, you already know.

She couldn't stop staring at him. His irises were shiny like emeralds, but there was a vibrant outline, lighting up the rest. His wickedness didn't intimidate her, actually it was quite the opposite. Granted being a doctor of the human psyche she knew her clown checked off probably more than half the symptoms in the DSM-V but he acts "normal" around her. With everything that's happened so far, she's looking forward to what the future entails, especially with her loving sweetheart. Someone to cherish, someone to laugh with, someone to love.

Getting towards the end J decided to turn the showers off momentarily, he wanted to see her covered in his batter.

" _I'm about to cum Harley."_ Joker grabbed his shaft and plucked it out of her mouth. "Yes Mistah J give me your fat load. I want to taste your spunk." He continued to jerk then that feeling hit. " _Ahhh open your fucking mouth!"_ That moment he instantly shot long segments of semen into her mouth. Not all of it entered her mouth of course. There was a fair amount that got on her face, neck, and chest as well as her blonde hair. Each pump of goo was inconsistent but they all had extended range and amount. She nearly choked on the second shot. She wasn't the only one with the reserves of cum. After he finished he took a second to look at his girl. She was covered in splatters of his goo. A good serving was still in her mouth, this was her desire, tasting her puddin's pudding. Slowly she swallowed her clowns baby batter to savour the taste of his spunk. " _How does it taste love?"_ She smiled.

"Like you, sweet. The aftertaste has a salty touch to it. I like the combination. I wonder how it would taste in a dessert?"

" _Well I can get you some strawberries and blueberries and put in a cup and for the topping I can give you a generous topping of daddy's yogurt."_

"Thanks puddin. Ouuu now I'm hungry."

" _Now let's get you cleaned up beautiful."_

The two again cleaned the other well. After so J grabbed two towels for them. Stepping outside threw the towel on the bed. Looking at the clock it revealed to be 7:30 a.m. The Joker continued to move into the kitchen. Harley looked at him funny.

"Hey aren't ya gonna get dressed Mistah J?"

" _Nah. I tend to make breakfast naked sweets, "skinny chefing" as it were."_ He gave her a silly face to shift the conversation. " _You have work at 9 right?"_

"Yes Mistah J that's correct." Just noticing she didn't have any clothes to where she started to panic. "Oh no I have no clean clothes to wear." There was no need to worry though, he was already a step ahead of her.

" _Check the closet to your right."_ Opening it she discovered five outfits to choose from. They were all from her own wardrobe in her townhouse. " _Sorry but there was only so much space to add more clothes, still I believe variety is key."_ It surprised her a little, she figured he was out last night but didn't realize that he went to her house to get her clothes.

"When did you go to my home puddin?" He hoped she wasn't upset with him. " _Around 5 beautiful. It was before I had some grub with a Barq's. I tried to make sure I picked the outfits that suited you best of course. I only did it so that we wouldn't have to skimp on our first morning meal together."_ Harley gave Joker a hard hug which mostly resembled a halphased tackle, it was with love though. "Thank you puddin, I'm so happy you cared that much so we can have breakfast like a couple. Just think you could also drop me off at my workplace too." She gave him a passionate kiss.

" _You call it a workplace, I call it a rest stop hehe. But yeah I would love to take you to work."_ With both of them not dressed and holding each other tightly, Harley felt something poking her.

"You're like a machine Mistah J, my machine."

" _You have no idea how easily you get my engine running Harley."_

"Mind if I drain your pipe again sweetie." Grabbing his already hardening shaft he threw her to the bed with a craved look in his eyes. " _There's some pastries and fruits in the fridge but right now I want something sweeter."_

"Come here daddy."

Driving in the east outskirts of Gotham's Tenebris Forest Joker shifted to fifth gear in the Zenvo st1 while going through the flat stretches of road. Harley's heart was pumping almost as fast as the pistons were firing. Her old little Prelude couldn't reach these speeds even if she stomped her foot on the accelerator. The sensation was enough to make a person dizzy but she held well for the first ride. Immediately hearing a maddening laugh she turned to her clown.

" _Ah Harley there is just something so calm in taking a drive through the Dark Forest."_

"Wait it's called the Dark Forest? I thought people stuck with the latin translation."

" _Yeah but look at our surroundings sweets, there is little to no light penetrating through the trees. The darkness is trapped around us just waiting to spread to it's next victim or victims, to consume them until their lost in a cycle of maddening proportions until they don't know up is up and down is down."_ She was worried from his long pause of silence until, " _Anyway that is just one of many small phrases I've said to a new doctor Jeremiah would assign me after the last doctor was let's say "disturbed" from a story I told him."_

"What was the story about Mistah J?"

"My mother." Those two words made Harley very curious. The only mention of his family was during their date at the outskirts. Seeing the city from the distance was truly beautiful and what struck her dearly was when she saw a small tear forming in her puddin's left eye. She knew there was more beneath the surface when most would disagree.

Reaching the gates of Arkham Asylum Joker drifted into a parking space not to far from the entrance, he didn't want to check in too early yet with other tasks in mind. Having black tinted windows were kinda a blessing that way. Harley grabbed her clowns face and swiftly give J half a dozen kisses. Turning away mischievously with a giggle she was playfully grabbed by her sweet heart. Looking at him he wanted to play, who could refuse such a persuasive man.

" _Hey beautiful, don't think you're leaving just this moment, I want to taste that cherry lipgloss."_ He intertwined his tongue with hers. She loved tasting his saliva during intimate moments such as these, she'll see him later today after work so maybe they can go somewhere and have some dinner. " _See you in a couple hours sweets."_

Exiting the car Harley felt somewhat sad, to leave her puddin to go to work sucked but she knew she would have to make money sometime. She couldn't forget that she has this job for a reason, to help the mentally disturbed.

"See ya in a few hours Mistah J, I'll miss you puddin."

" _I'll miss you too my dear harlequin."_ When Harley closed the car door J quickly sped out of the parking lot and vanished in the horizon of Harley's vision. She started walking towards the main entrance doors. A part of her stopped though halfway to the entrance, feeling down already from a lack of her puddin's presence.

"I miss him already."

...


	5. Knives with salad

Entering through the lobby the semi-glum Harley was immediately stopped by a seemingly happy Sarah. Seeing that smile she knew Bart took her up on a date by now. He always had a way of charming his romantic interests. Maybe for both Sarah and Bart's sake this pairing will lead to long term happiness.

Sarah hugged her tightly. In her head: "Oh now I know how Mistah J feels. I can barely breath."

"Thank you so much Dr. Quinzel." Harley broke from Sarah's grasp and took a deep breath. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be suffocating."

"No no I get it, Bartholomew is a man of enjoyment. Hell in college he persuaded me go to a rave at a blink-182 concert in Keystone City for spring break. Ah the smell of sweat and Captain Morgan was in the atmosphere that week." Sarah gave Harley a queer look for a response.

"Wait you went to a blink-182 concert?"

"That's what you took from what I said, okay then. I'm happy that you are having fun with Bart. I'm sure he enjoys you in vice versa."

"Thank you," The two shook hands and proceeded. "Okay Dr. Quinzel your first appointment of the day is in twenty minutes." Handing over a manilla envelope she grew curious to who was her next patient, maybe a person that didn't obsess with moths.

"Thank you Sarah. I appreciate this dearly, now don't forget to give my regards to Bart, lord knows I haven't been good at keeping in touch lately."

"I will Dr. Quinzel. Have a nice day."

"You too." With that Harley went to the second floor to reach her office. As she reached the door she noticed something strange, it was slightly cracked open. The only reason why it bothered her was that she locked it before she left yesterday. The cleaning crew only sweeps this building once every three weeks on Saturday.

Pushing the door open she saw Jeremiah Arkham standing in front of her desk reading her previously submitted patient review file.

"Is there something I can help you with Dr. Arkham?" He turned from his reading and made a quick glimpse at her.

"Just one thing. Actually it's a question. Do you think you can make a difference here?" Was she supposed to taken aback?

"In what way Dr. Arkham?"

"In successfully rehabilitating these patients."

"Why yes I do believe that there is no patient incapable of proper treatment and eventual rehabilitation. Have I given you any pretense that would make you think otherwise?"

"No."

"Then what exactly is the problem here?"

"Reading this file you seem to have a little empathy towards Mr. Spisak."

"Sometimes bluntness is needed when addressing what's wrong and how to fix those problems."

"Well here you mention that he should be discharged and given counseling from social worker outside the institution."

"I don't mind being cited from my work but you have to admit, some of the patients here aren't as dangerous as others…"

"Like the Joker." Now that struck a nerve for Harley. She had to restrain herself from yelling at him so he doesn't get any ideas.

"Well yes but there are others that also possess the effect of ruination for this city. I want less serious threats to be discharged instead of being in a intermediate state when they only take up space and join the others in destroying the city when we have the occasional breakout."

"At least we have Batman to clean up the mess."

"We shouldn't have to rely on Batman every time shit hits the fan Jeremiah." He looked insulted from the lack of respect. "I'm sorry Dr. Arkham but you should know where I stand."

"Thank you for your honesty. Just remember that I co-sign on the approval for discharging patients since the 'Ivy Raid' of '04. That was one itchy summer. Anyway I will sign my portion of the discharge papers as a matter of good faith but please don't assume I will do this again, some of the patients I will assign you will have you for more than just one session."

"I figured." The thought of having her puddin on the couch made her feel warm on the inside.

"Before I leave I have one more question before your next session."

"Go ahead."

"Do you want to interview The Joker the next time Batman captures him?"

"What would Dr. Leland say about you offering patients behind closed doors?"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her Dr. Quinzel." This was a dilemma, particularly one she didn't want to get involved in. On the other hand she would then be with her clown even though he would be arrested again.

"What do you get out of this?"

"Nothing." Bullshit. He must be up to something. Fine let's see how this turns out then.

"I would be honored to treat the Clown Prince of Crime when he is left on our doorstep by the dark knight." She hated the idea. To have her puddin all damaged from a fight with that bat bully. She wouldn't have to worry about that though, The Joker is pretty good at hiding and improvising under pressure.

"Good I'll rework the papers and set my new order in motion soon. Enjoy your new patient."

"Thanks I guess," Arkham closed the door behind him. "Asshole."

The buzzer in her office instantly flashed red. Clicking the receiver the other end told her the patient was ready. Unfortunately she didn't have the time to look through the folder.

A guard entered first check the room. After the guard confirmed the perimeter, they brought in the patient. What Harley thought when seeing her new patient was "Well challenge accepted Jeremiah."

"Hello Doctor."

"Welcome Mr. Zsasz, take a seat." The guards locked his arm and leg chains the the chain anchor welded to the floor. After that the armed men waited outside the door for protocol. His appearance wasn't the most pleasing. Luckily he was cooperative to wear his dark grey inmate uniform so she only saw the tallies on his neck. At least Harley knew he killed 11 people.

"Yeah Doctor I have a couple cuts, eight out of these eleven were women. Would you want me to tell you their names and backstories?" Victor gave Harley a wicked grin but that wasn't exactly gonna give the same response as he first thought.

"Not yet, first I have to get some basic info first." Getting out her notepad she clicked her pen and began writing. "Let's see here Victor, why do you think you're here?"

"Because I set damaged souls free from their miserable shells of mortality. The blade helps me take part in my mission to cleanse this city of the weak and empty. Each time I put another tally on my body I feel closer towards my purpose of giving these beasts the greatest gift they can ever receive, death." Quickly jotting down notes Harley wanted to know more.

"Okay good. Was this mission you had to embark began from the death of your parent?" Zsasz had a nervous twitch in his right eye. He wanted the knife in his hand to kill her. "Doctor?"

"Yes Victor?"

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like to kill another individual?" Harley first didn't want to respond to that. But there had to be a little honesty, a little opening up could potentially help deter Victor from swaying away from the original question.

"Yes I have been curious from time to time. Never really living the precarious type of life there were times when I would read case studies of serial killers. Now most of them shared similar traits, white men in their twenties and mid-thirties, tortured animals when they were younger, be fascinated with arson, even attempted suicide, of course they didn't succeed because if they did, we wouldn't see them today on the national news. But do you want to know something I found strange in the comparison between them to your file?"

"Please enlighten me doctor."

"Most had dysfunctional family upbringings with a long history of abuse throughout their childhood. With them growing in low to middle class households with no father or maybe keeping a less than reputable uncle taking swings when life didn't work well for him. Whereas you didn't have to worry about any of that now did you?"

"Shut it." Now we're getting somewhere.

"First lets try this then we'll go to the next question. You grew into the wealth of your parents success. Now they weren't divorced no, they loved each other till the end with the boating accident."

"DOCTOR I think you should be careful what you say next, it just might be your last AAGH dam these restraints."

"You were so depressed that you gambled all their money. You knew nothing would bring them back and it driven you to the point of self destruction." Zsasz jumped up from his couch to berate her.

"That fucking penguin cheated me out of what was rightfully mine from the start. The little man thought he possessed guile when taking my money as ill gotten gains. After that I decided there was nothing left in me, to end my life was the last action I thought was worth a dam. Walking up on that bridge I was assaulted by a homeless imbecile with a knife. In my defense I was had the primal instinct for the preservation of life. Taking the knife I felt a surge of electricity pass through my body. I looked at the man before I slowly pressed the blade into his chest cavity and watch the blood spew onto the iron railing. I freed him, a man with nothing now had everything he could want, peace. With the blade I placed a deep tally on my right arm and knew what my purpose was from there on to now." Harley saw a patient that could definitely use some different antipsychotics than the ones prescribed by the previous doctor. With some time if progression occurs the possibility of group therapy with the other inmates, supervised of course will be an option.

"Okay Victor you have said a lot and now it appears the guards want to take you back to your cell. We can continue this discussion next week."

"WHAT that's IT! Dam doctor you really decided to agitate the wrong patient." One of the guards came to unlock the chair from the floor anchor. Zsasz kneed the guard in the chest and scavenged for his keys. Harley took behind the desk to retrieve the green vial the Joker had left her. The second guard came to reach Zsasz but he incapacitated him with the others baton. He looked up at Harley and smiled, "Well doctor this isn't a knife but I think I can make an exception this one time." He came closer to Harley with the desire to set her free. Hitting the panic button under her desk she dodged his first strike and retaliated with the vial. Throwing it in his face he didn't think twice, "What you think mouthwash would…" There was a delay but the effects of the vial were off putting. He started laughing and scratching the epidermis layers of his skin off, if that wasn't enough he coughed blood. Going to the window he begged for some fresh air by punching a hole in the whole in the window. The fresh oxygen had changed nothing, he was still in a state of irritability that could only be suspended with a cognitive recalibration. Harley took hold off one of the frames and rammed it against Zsasz's temporal lobe. He went down after that.

"My job as a mental health provider." A reinforcement team of guards charged only to see a badly injured inmate, two unconscious guards, and a skinny blonde doctor standing above them all.

"Dr. are you okay?"

"Yeah but you should look at the other guy, he appears to be in agony."

"MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!" The guard yelled at the injured Zsasz. "Shut up freak, we'll take you to the infirmary." Dragging Victor off Harley pulled out her phone and texted her clown. The message was sent but it wasn't seen yet. She went to the window and stared at the river, as the patient would receive medical attention he would surely go to solitary confinement for a couple days. That will only make him more aggressive and continue the same cycle all over again. As a current, throwing a rock in will not alter the designated path, the stream will move in the same direction.

Harley picked up the vial off the floor and hide it away back in her desk. There was no need for them to know her beloved has been giving her irritants as welcome gifts. Hell that would be the least of her worries, she would probably lose her job and be blackballed in the psychiatric community, all because of her love, mad love.

" **Bppp..Bppp"**

It was him, he responded to her text. " _Who was the lucky victim?"_

"Victor Zsasz."

" _Hehehehe, you gave him a mark he won't ever forget."_

"The bastard tried to kill me with a baton."

" _He wouldn't have been able to sweets, I know you have quick reflexes ;)."_

"My dirty clown. So how's your day going sweetie?"

" _Eh kinda dull, not as much blood was spilled today, only this rare steak I'm eating."_

"Now I'm hungry. Where did you get that steak?"

" _At the Iceberg Lounge. I need to take you here sometime, show you to the entire cast of the damned, but you'll probably meet a couple of them before then."_

"So far I've met a man obsessed with moths and another who kills for delusional reasons. I hope the bar raises a little."

" _It will sweets, but you've already reached the top level."_

"Ya got that right puddin. So when ya picking me up?"

" _When do you get off work."_

"In a couple of hours, 2:45. Then I'm all your's."

" _Ouuu look at you, we can play in the car but not too much, I don't want to crash."_

"We'll see."

Hearing a knock on the door Harley gave The Joker one last message for a while. "I'll talk to you soon puddin, kisses." She put her phone away. "Come in."

Dr. Leland came in with a shocked expression on her face. Afraid of what occurred happened she gave Harley a hug to comfort the already calm jester. "I'm sorry he attacked you Harleen."

"Not to worry Dr. Leland, he didn't have the chance too. I can be light on my feet when the time is necessary. I should get back to work now."

"Well I'll be in my office if you need any assistance. Good work today Harleen."

"Thank you Joan." Joan was impressed by Harley's assiduous work effort despite of what just occurred. Leaving the door closed Harley took a deep breath, "I could use some fresh air now. This report can wait till I get back."

The sky was clear and sunny with not a cloud in sight for miles. On one of the benches in the courtyard Harley is eating a caesar salad she bought from the employee cafeteria, "So this is what $3.50 looks like. Eh at least I have some real food at home," Crunching on the croutons thinking of the empty calories she's consuming a woman appeared in her line of sight.

"Hi," said the woman. Harley hasn't mingled in any social circles yet, only knowing Joan, Sarah, and unfortunately Arkham. This reminded her of high school being left alone at lunch but every now and then a person would come over and converse. Many of who had their own distinct character traits to say the least. "Mind I sit here."

"Please go ahead." Why not. It's good to expand your social horizons.

"Thanks." The woman sat next to Harley on the right. Actually looking at her Harley was startled to notice she was another inmate. Wearing a light gray uniform, she had circles under her eyes, a brunette with a lack of energy. Her attention was on the green shrubbery in the center of the courtyard. "Do you know what that looks like?" Harley had no idea where the orderlies were. Not knowing who she was she responded to possibly get more information.

"Ugh it reminds me of a crown."

"I always thought it resembled a ring with some rough edges." Harley turned her head sideways. The shrub didn't look like either, more of lines in zigzag form.

"Think of it like a like a Rorschach inkblot test."

"Believe me I've had enough of those. First answer is a man riding a bike and the next is a giraffe chewing on some leafs. Free response tends to be counter productive."

"Welp so much for a viable career in psychiatry." Silence presumed for a few minutes after.

"The sky's are so clear today."

"Yes they are."

"It takes me back to a picnic date I used to have with my hus…," The woman paused in her statement. "He liked to surprise me with gifts and treats occasionally. It was just a part of his endless affection." That made Harley think of her puddin, he always gives her comfort and security. The warmth provided soothed the nerves of life's daily troubles. "The first time I met him was in a jewelry store stealing precious gems and rings. When our eyes met for the first time the room completely silent, the police sirens were however growing in the background. He handed me a big black harlequin diamond and said: "Wanna have an adventure?" "With a smile so charming I felt drawn to the man, escaping from the police we only knew the future would only get better from here, when two develop into one, mannerisms sync and jokes are tossed together. We made friends with the infamous and despised the rest, especially with Eve. Recently as time passes I grow weary with his absence."

"What happened to him?" A tear trickled from the woman's cheek.

"I don't know. He disappeared one day and I never saw him since. For three years running now and I'm without my sweet….punchie." She began crying, the wounded heart can still function but the damage never heals fully. Harley held her for comfort. She never felt that sensation of emptiness and depression in her life, only witness it from previous "normal" patients.

"Shhh, there there. I haven't lost anybody that meant that much to me yet and I'm thankful for each day they walk among the living. I know one day I will get that phone call and I hope I will be able to stay strong and move forward in life. Your husband may have left but that doesn't mean he left because he wanted, maybe he had to so that you would be protected from dangerous people. Stay strong please, optimism can seem harder to obtain than the opposite with these scenario's. Eventually as time progresses you'll feel better and hopefully reach rehabilitation to return to society. He's can still be alive, just imagine one day you get called for a visitor and when you see the other behind the glass, it's your punchie."

The woman stands and shook the doctor's hand. "You're right, I can't feel weak. I need to stay strong for me, and Clyde. Thank you doctor…"

"Quinzel."

"Dr. Quinzel. I'm Jewelee."

"Things will get better Jewelee, I promise."

"I hope so. See ya around Dr. Quinzel."

"See ya."

Harley sipped down on her black tea and imagined growing old with Mistah J. They had a nice house in the Catskills with no neighbors or distractions from the outside world. Just the two of them together spending their golden years in the mountains. Honestly she didn't care where they would live, as long as they had each other. Losing him would destroy her, there would be a lack of interest in life but those thoughts were pointless. She knew he wasn't going anywhere. "I wonder what he's doing. He hasn't responded to my text yet."

...


	6. Taking A Leap

"How are you today?"

" _Different."_

"Would you care to elaborate Jay?"

" _Tony, you know I'm not one for conversing on deep and deciduous thoughts."_

"Yet you came here so I'm sure you must have something on your mind you would like to disgust."

" _Yeah Batsy isn't much for talks, he likes to let his fists do the talking. I wanted to apologize in person for missing the dinner you made for Harley and I. The poor girl was a little too tired and somewhat intoxicated. It was time to call it a night and we didn't even have dessert yet hehe, she definitely tasted sweet."_

"Oh my. Well aren't you the pinnacle of human interaction. You usually leave people with a grinning smile or fear to tell others the tale."

" _Do I sense jealousy Tony? I know I came here without a warning but if I knew you and Michael were having a late lunch I wouldn't have interrupted."_ Michael entered the living room. He gave Tony his soup and sandwich. "Would like something to eat Jay?"

" _I'm afraid I'll have to decline Michael. Harley is making a big dinner tonight so I need to save some room. Sorry for the unexpected appearance, I felt like I needed to talk to someone about recent events."_

"Oh it's no problem honey, you are welcome here anytime Jay. It's just lunch anyway. I'm guessing this about Harley?" Tony was a little annoyed.

"I was just building up to that hun."

"Well sorry but you don't need to be a detective to know what he wants to talk about. I'll be in the kitchen if anybody needs me."

"Thank you honey," Michael left the living room to go back in the kitchen. "So Jay this is why you came here today?"

" _Why yes your husband couldn't have been more accurate. In the past I haven't had much need to converse but recently that has changed."_

"The stage is all yours old friend."

" _Thank you. As you know I'm not one for enlisting others in my inner circle. Living a life of crime and rejoicing in the success there has been a lack of excitement. The money and drugs never resonated with me unlike some of my associates who need it to define themselves. No I inspire laughter and joy in my fellow Gothamites. That followed with the respect of my lessers and lackeys were enough to satisfy me but lately that hasn't been the case. Of course what about the bat? Doesn't he provide the excitement that would fulfill my desires? Yes that was usually the case. Most nights fighting in an alley or blimp punching the shit out of each other…so much blood, Monday's am I right?"_

"So with Harley…"

" _I'm getting there don't be impatient. As we got bloody I knew there was no greater feeling in the whole fucking world. And the years went by I performed acts against him that were just perfect he would never forget and believe me he didn't. Seeing the members of his family grew with time the number of targets only increased and lead me to paralyzing one, killing the other, giving the rest PTSD. Now I know how can a supervillain get tired of this life? I haven't, it's the consistency in the cycle that became stale. The severity of this was worse than I originally thought."_

"How so Jay?"

" _I couldn't laugh recently, for months even. It's because of that I haven't been out reaving havoc in the big city as much as usual. Hell a couple of people think I'm dead."_ That response surprised Tony. "I'm sorry Jay."

" _Yeah that was a rough couple of months. This lead to crimes I already performed and old gags I no longer enjoyed. Ya ever try to patent fish? Don't it's a complete bitch of a process."_

"But you managed to survive Jay. That is what matters most. Everyone has periods in their lives where nothing seems to change."

" _Yes but some nights gave me nothing except unconditional boredom and loneliness. Every now and then I would begin walks down certain parts of Gotham to evaluate my erratic thoughts."_

" _I felt that there was something missing in my life. Walking one night down the street I saw this woman taking a stroll in a less than pleasant part of the city. She wore heels that accentuated her slender legs. I remember they were black. Keeping a distance I didn't make her face entirely except for the sides and back giving me the assumption she had breathtaking features, I didn't know I was a sucker for blondes. I had no idea what my plans were on that night. Could I talk to her? What would happen? How would she respond to me?"_

" _On that partly cloudy night she made a right turn which was anything but right. A so called "thug" tailed her in the alley and I knew what was about to happen, the underworld can be dark but we've all seen it's general methods of criminals. She was not going to be a victim of this damaged city. Not even knowing the woman from before I had the urge to kill the men that would attempt to mug her or do worse. Entering the alley I stuck to the shadows and away from any potential light from the sky. Those two cretins had no idea who was there with her. As they backed her up into the wall I felt an anger I never perceived before. I pulled out my .357 and put one in each of their empty skulls. I personally wanted to take them captive and make them wish for death but I was focused on...her."_

" _She looked so timid, trying to escape the nightmare of that night. When her head was looking up she saw someone, me lending out a hand. I knew she was still keeping her guard up, understandable due to what just happened. With my charming self and humor I was able to calm her and make her giggle. God that giggle makes me happier than ever. As the moonlight pierced through the clouds she saw the man that saved her and a word that came to mind was dumbstruck. I mean why would an evil individual such as I help out anyone? The answer was when I saw her curling up back against the wall awaiting for horror, and not the type I approve of. To be a victim of such an injustice would have sent her down a cycle of doubt and self destruction. Innocence is a virtue not many of us possess. That night started something new though. For the first time I felt a part of another's timeline. Was it fate? I honestly have no idea."_

" _The moonlight also revealed the details of perfection with her. Seeing her face for the first time I instantly felt drawn to her, those azul eyes that reminded me of the ocean, her smooth skin like that of a Jubilee tomato, luscious blonde waves of length. And the glasses added another layer of beauty to her already goddess like appearance. Asking her she would probably deny it but she is the most beautiful women in the world. Being there to save her made me happy to be alive, the size of my grin couldn't have been wider."_

" _Walking her home brought back hazy memories of my teenage years. Now I don't know if they're accurate references but it showed me a calm like I've never experienced before. To have someone who would stand next to you staring into the abyss of insanity and bring a bag of popcorn, witness the pure bliss two can share when they know they're meant to become one. To paint the town green with toxin, boot the batmobile for parking in a fire lane, or even get married."_

"Whoa Jay, I had no idea how much Harley means to you. I honestly can say with confidence that you have found someone that has opened your closed emotions from a comatose state. You are human Jay and just like any other human you have ambition, goals, and desires. We all want deep down to have someone we can lie in bed with at night and wake up to see their face in the morning. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. To find my soulmate was the biggest challenge I ever had to face. To be alone has it's benefits but I was never one to enjoy complete silence."

" _Well you have your partner Michael. I never expected myself to become so involved in another human being, especially in the romance category. Even though it takes time to adjust sleeping with another person, it's fun to know her patterns. Harley can go all over the place. She snores sometimes too. The warmth she disperses fills a room with comfort. It made me realize that I too could care for another person, well only her. Do you think this all could have been faith or just dumb luck?"_

"Living my life and experiencing everything that came so far I personally believe that the world has a funny way of letting events come to fruition. Every action has an effect Jay. Faith or not, you have in the present someone very special. There are those who leave this world without ever experiencing that sensation of passion. Now go and pick up your girl. Doesn't she work till about three?"

" _Oh shit I don't want to be late,"_ Joker jumped off the couch and zipped to the door. " _Have a nice day Tony, give Michael my best."_ Tony smiled and finally looked down at his plate. "Dam it, Michael can you microwave this please?"

The Joker got in his Zenvo and sped in the direction of the asylum. Passing by many cars he noticed one in particular. However this wasn't a car, it was more like a tank, a black tank. The engine roared with diesel running through it's veins. The armored vehicle was chasing the Joker down to the on ramp. " _God damn it, I don't have the time for a race bats. I need to stop him in his tracks."_ He pressed one of the buttons on his dashboard for these types of situations. A hefty trail of oil was sprayed on the lane to divert the bat. Unfortunately Batman averted the trap. " _Okay let's see if this works."_ With another button pressed the back grille lowered and two .50 caliber barrels appeared and began firing on the batmobile. The persistent gun fire was enough to damage the batmobile but the armor was still holding. Batman fired a grappling hook which pierced through the back bumper. Batman stomped his foot on the brake and shifted the gear in reverse. Slowing down the Joker he became irate, he opened the sunroof while holding down the gas in sixth gear. " _Hey Batsy, see if your tank can handle this."_ He pulled the trigger on the RPG he held just in case his contingencies failed. The batmobile ejected Batman before the rocket impacted it. Joker laughed at the fire while others were screaming. " _He's just going to have another ride sooner rather than later. Hopefully the next one won't tell the world you're trying to compensate for something else."_ He unlatched the back bumper and sped off into the mountains.

"Next time Joker."

Harley waited outside off the asylum for her clown. Checking her phone again for the fifth time it appeared to be 3:00 p.m. "Where is he? I hope he's okay." In the horizon she saw the Zenvo coming in her direction. When it stopped in front of her she noticed the car was damaged on its sides and was missing a back bumper. Harley got in and they zoomed to her house in silence.

In the town house Harley spoke out to cut the quietness. "What happened to the car puddin?" He turned from the window to face her. " _The batman, that is what happened. As I was coming to get you he tailed me out of nowhere in that tank of his and we raced against each other a little. He cheated because he hooked my back bumper which lead me to detach it. But I took down his monstrosity with an RPG. I'm sorry for being late to pick you up sweets. I needed to make sure he wouldn't follow me. I couldn't forgive myself if I got you in the crosshairs pumpkin."_ Harley hugged him. "My poor puddin. I know how to turn that frown upside down." She kissed him on the tip of his nose. That triggered a nasal response sneezing in her face. The two giggled at the situation. "Ya hungry Mistah J?"

" _Yes actually, I quite famished and skipping lunch didn't help."_

"Don't worry sweetie, I'll make you something special."

" _I can help you, I'm a pretty decent cook."_

"Oh I definitely know. But I want to make you a family specialty I had in Brooklyn growing up. I'll let you come up with an idea for dessert."

" _Whatever it is it will probably involve whipcream. And it might not just be used for dessert."_ He traced his index finger around her left breast. " _More than a cannoli of course."_ Even with a light tease that sparked Harley's engine.

"You always taste divine puddin."

" _You always taste like cherries sweets."_ He held her again. Thinking of the way she looked at him with such an admiration it was warming him internally. If you would have told him a year ago that he would be here in a lovely woman's townhouse making dinner and euphemisms about fucking he'd laugh before sending you a gift basket full of explosives that dispersed Joker toxin.

Sharing saliva J noticed an enticing scent of her perfume. " _Is that vanilla I smell from your neck?"_

"It also has a hint of white rose in it." J blew in her neck causing her to chuckle. "Haha Mistah J you kno...ha ho..hahahaha sensitive my skin is."

" _Oh I know sweets. You're just that irresistible."_ With laughing it evolved to kissing than to near panting. But it stopped momentarily when the oven buzzed.

"Shit the oven is already preheated, I have to get cookin." She ran to the kitchen to make the food. J pulled out a flask and took a quick shwig. " _Vodka? I need to really keep a log of what I currently have. At least it wasn't jager this time, I'm still not allowed in the downtown IHOP."_

One hour later…..

"Honey, ya mind setting the table?"

" _Sure pooh."_ Putting down his paper he went to her china cabinet and placed down two bowls, plates, forks, knives, and spoons. " _It smells delicious."_

"I hope you'll like it sweetie, this dish is one my mother would make for me after gymnastics practice."

" _That explains your swift agility."_

"Well we won't be able to move after dessert." She appeared from the kitchen wearing an apron covered in a red soup base. Her face had a stain or two that she must not have noticed. " _Weren't you the busy little bee."_ Looking down at her apron she turned pink. "Whoopsie I hadn't realized how much of dinner was on me." He walked up to her and traced her left cheek and licked his index finger. She smiled, "How do I taste?"

" _Mmmm like boiled tomatoes with a hint of allspice and oregano."_ She kissed him in approval. "Excellent taste buds puddin. Ya think I should get changed for our dinner?"

" _You are always beautiful no matter what your wearing or what's on you sweets. I should get you a wet paper towel to wipe off the rest of the broth though."_

"Thank you puddin." He cleaned off her face gently. Roughness wasn't necessary for her only gentleness. Going to retrieve the food she calls for him, "Oh I almost forgot, if you want to play some music there are speakers in the corner that have an usb adapter to most phones."

He went to his phone and searched through his music to find something that would suit the evening well. " _Some Philip Glass should do the track."_ Etude No. 2 was first to play. Harley bring out a pot of soup to start the dinner. "I call this spinach matzo ball minestrone." Tasting his first bowl he was shocked to discover how delicious this was. " _Dam, you'll give Tony a run for his money with this."_

"Who's Tony?"

" _An old friend in the underworld. He's a cook who prepares for the underbelly of Gotham. Also caters for evil occasions but those got a little too tacky,_ ' _ **cough'**_ _Riddler. But this is delicious."_

She lit up like a christmas tree in joy. "You really like it that much?"

" _Definitely, I enjoy minestrone soup and I like matzo balls. I can't believe I never thought to put the two together though. Hell with this start for the main course, I'm looking forward to dessert even further. Good job beautiful."_

"I'm so glad you like it puddin. There's a confession I have to make about the dessert though." He dropped his spoon for dramatic effect, " _Are we out of whip cream!"_ She giggled at his silliness. "No sweetie, that will be used up later. The dessert I got isn't homemade, it's store bought. Yeah cannoli's takes a little more time to make especially for me because I don't know how to make it."

" _Don't worry pumpkin your secret will be safe with me."_ The two continued to have their meal in harmony. Listening to the elegant sound of Philip Glass playing the piano gave a soothing tone to the lovely dinner. "Nice choice of music puddin. It's been awhile since I've heard this."

" _Yeah it seemed just right for the occasion."_

After finishing their meal together the two got up to the couch and shared the cannoli's. Feeding each other sensually the music brought a feeling in the air and that feeling was romance. The speakers begun shifting to the works of Sinatra and well you should kinda know where I'm heading here.

"C'mon Mistah J let's dance." He held her up and twirled in the center of her living room. Shifting, twisting from side to side as the adrenaline pumped throughout their bodies. Holding each other to the lyrics of You Make Me Feel So Young they wanted to savour the moment. "This is nice." Feeling full, happy, and a little buzzed from a scotch or two, the Joker had the desire to say something to her. They were words that weren't always treaded likely in any language. To say for the first time to someone that means so much to you could be scary. Some say it without passion behind and there were others who don't deserve it. This however wasn't one of those situations, no this felt just right to him. He knew the feelings of companionship are mutual but how does one who cares so much for an individual not just blurt them out from being unable to hold their true emotions. The two here never experienced love in the romantic aspect of life. He never grew fond of anyone before her and she never felt a connection or attraction with anyone before him. Happiness is never overrated in this life, all you have to do is find it and you'll know.

" _Yes it is beautiful. What else could you ask for?"_

"A kiss." Giving him big shiny eyes.

" _Now how could I refuse you."_ He gave her deep kiss with light tongue. Hearing her soft moan gave him the confirmation that she's feeling better. Shifting motions, Harley laid her hands on her puddin's broad shoulders. "I think heels are the only way I keep up with your height sweetie."

" _I'm only six foot and half an inch."_

"Hey I'm five foot six, I'm average honey."

" _Your anything but average."_

"You always know what to say don't you."

" _It's a part of my schema love, I will always be true to you Harleen, no matter what happens in the future. You're my friend, my partner, my salvation. I love you Harleen Francis Quinzel."_

 ** _..._**


	7. Intermediate

" _I love you Harleen Francis Quinzel."_ The room went silent and no it wasn't a random glitch that occurs on Spotify when playing ads, this was a pause of reality. Telling another they love them in the romantic sense at least to me felt like a leap. In the end it didn't work out but that's one of the reasons why I'm writing the tale you're reading. The sheer intimidation from the thought of rejection can easily keep one from expressing their true emotions then lead to regret. However being the recipient of those three little words can also freak the individual out completely. Whether it's the sudden mention or not feeling mutual attraction it can truly be a shit show. For Harley there was a sudden angst to throw him onto the couch and kiss him until his face was covered in her lipstick. Her heart bursting with happiness and overall joy was too immense to contain.

"I love you too Joker." The two felt the others tongue for what felt like hours.

" _Ya know sweets, this means you're in love with a clown now."_

"Yes, my clown. And a doctor being with a clown couldn't be anymore original."

" _Don't worry pooh I'll fancy up something for you to wear when we showcase us to this city and bring them all to their knees in fear."_

"Ya got that right puddin." With the window shades open the night sky was illuminated by a half moon revealing the city in light from the darkness. One cannot fall unless the other rises. It's the rare moments when nature achieves an equilibrium, when yin and yang are uniform in the outer space of our surroundings. Calm is now in focus for the present however the future is yet to be decided in the this grim town. Just enjoy the time you have, optimism is still prefered.

" _Wanna go to bed sweets?"_ She smirked from his less than subtle gesture.

"Are you sure that's it sweetie?"

" _Not at all doc, a part of me wonders how sturdy your bed frame is?"_

"You dirty clown. Well we both know how to test that." Joker offered his arm in a quick stroll to Harley's bedroom. " _Ma lady."_

"Such a perfect gentleman."

" _It's easy when you find the perfect woman. Ou I see the drapes do match the carpet."_

 **7:30 a.m.**

Staring at the pearl white ceiling fan he noticed a thin layer of dust the fan blades. Along with a small crack in the ceiling itself. All he could do was look up, Harley pretty much glued on to him there was little wiggle room. He didn't find it annoying or clingy, actually he found it quite cute. It was hard to believe she slept by herself for all these years without even a body pillow. If only these walls could talk you would expect them to reveal interesting facts or secrets. 'Oh she talks to herself while under, There's a vibrator in her dresser next to the nightstand, Or wait she holds you like a bear trapping an elk.' Nevermind he already knew what to expect. But then again she is full of surprises. The window shades deflected most of the light from the sunrise, some still pierced through hitting the white walls. Right now he would be in the shower to wake himself up before making a quick egg and toast.

The room was a bit messy after last night to say the least. The bed itself smells of sweaty sex. He noticed his purple suit draped over the shower rod but somehow the pants were on top of the lampshade as if to block all dust from coming into contact with it. ' _Huh where are my boxers?'_ Turning his head he peaked into the hallway they weren't there, neither the bathroom nor the nightstand. He lifted the blanket slowly to check. 'So there not on me. I'm all natural just as intended. They actually look better on her anyway. Wait is that..' He went to grab the can of whip cream between her luscious legs. In an instant she crossed her legs blocking his advances. 'Eh it doesn't matter much. There appears to some still on your cheeks beautiful.' He traced his index finger on her face. Feeling her perfectly smooth skin he made a flick at the cream on her lovely face. 'Mmmm tasty. That Reddi Whip really doesn't need refrigerated.' Her dimples appeared when feeling his fingers play with her face. Those baby blues arose to see her beloved playing and licking whip cream.

" _Good morning love."_

"Good morning pudding. How do I taste?"

" _Divine."_ The two kissed before getting ready for another day in life.

"Wanna join me in the shower sweetie?" Looking at her wearing nothing but his checkered boxers he instantly felt the need to grab the whip cream.

" _Mind if I bring this?"_

…

With the clock hitting 8:20 a.m. the two were ready to head out the door. Joker kissed Harleen before heading out the backdoor to the Zenvo.

" _I'll call you soon sweets. Have a swell day at work."_

"I'll miss you Mistah J. The mundane work will keep me busy. I'm in need of a patient with a lot of flare and enthusiasm. Stories for days and couldn't be summed up in a sentence." He laughed.

" _Maybe I should have the bat drop me off in Arkham so we can have some_ _private sessions._ "

"No, I couldn't help but constantly worry about you in there, no matter how well you know the facility in and out. Also we wouldn't be able to have date nights if you're in Arkham."

" _True, the patients don't receive a guest wifi password so Skype is out of the question. Even so how would I be able to enjoy myself without your presence my dear little harlequin? Have a wonderful day."_ He headed out to the back door.

"I love you puddin." She called out before he left for work.

" _I love you too sweets."_ They both took one more glance at each other before heading their separate ways for work. It was as if to take a mental picture to internally capture the moment before reality sets back into play.


	8. Plans with Coworkers

Back at the asylum Harley was revising her patient evaluations. After typing in the last edit she paused and looked at her phone, the background was a picture of the two of them at the outskirts looking at a far to the city of Gotham. J found a batarang in his pocket and used it on the tree he later carved out. "I still gotta go back there to see what he wrote in the bark." The phone rings. "Yes."

"You're 10:15 appointment is ready for you Dr. Quinzel."

"Thank you Sarah."

"You're very welcome Dr. Quinzel." She got up and left her office with the revised folders and a notepad to go. Heading out to the courtyard she made a right turn to botanical gardens instead of going straight to the executive hall. This was a nice change of routine, she hadn't attend many meetings with the shareholders and she wanted to keep it that way. In order to skip today's meeting she agreed to fill in for Leland's slot while she's in Coast City with her husband. This had no negative effect on Harley, only more snide comments from Jeremiah, bastard. One that held concern for her beside Joan was actually Bruce. For this patient he cautioned her about the dangers of the ivy and how vicious she can be towards humans. Apart of her wanting to reply with something like 'I happen to be in a loving relationship with a man who looks like a clown but can still kill you while laughing' but as you see some of her colleagues would very much raise an eyebrow at least. His worrying reminded her of a solicitous mother. Nevermind that, Harley wasn't a member of the staff here to be cautious, she came here to understand and heal the disturbed residents here.

Walking to a closed of section of the grounds the guards patrolling the gardens stopped her. "Papers miss." Handing the man who seemed to take his job very seriously gave Harley a quizzical look. "Enjoy the visit Dr. Quinzel."

"Ugh thank you I guess," She followed the other guard into the center of the gardens "creep." The vines of a full allotment of species with weeds choking out the flowers and trees covering the rays of sun there was too much to see in only an hour. A fountain awaited her, showing next to it was a woman in a sealed glass container. She had red orange hair cut short for personal style. Her skin was a slight green hue that blended in with plants around her. Harley was surprised that the board still approved having male personnel around her, especially since the Ivy Raid. The former physician "treating" her had an attraction. She seduced Dr. Hanz but used her deadly kiss spreading neurotoxins throughout his body and mind. This individual has little to no disregard for human life. She would much rather see the Earth turn back to its natural state, there were a couple moments in the past where attempts were made. Now she stands in a see through box shelved off from the rest of the patients and for good reason, men she couldn't stand. Harley had seen her file once before coming here. What she learned was enough to get an idea of what was going to prevail.

Poison Ivy turned to Harley with her glossy green eyes. "Hello good doctor."

"Hello Miss Isley. You may leave us guard." He left the area. Ivy smiled with her blood orange lips. She sat in the sensi position. "So let's begin. I am Dr. Quinzel and I will be filling in this appointment for Dr. Leland."

"Where did she go?"

"She went to Coast City with her husband. I believe it was for an anniversary or such."

"Have you ever be to Coast City Dr. Quinzel?"

"Only once, I was eleven. I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital before she passed away."

"Oh." She said with subtle tone.

"It says here that you have been temperamental with the female guards. Would you mind explaining why that is?" She responded with displeasure.

"When they watch me they begin to gossip. This time it was of how I slept my way to become a doctor. Dr. Woodrue lead me on his research team so he could further his advances latter after the experiments were finished. Not to say there wasn't any chemistry between us, unfortunately as you can see things didn't go out as planned."

"So you can say it was a tempestuous relationship."

"Complicated, at least at first. He used my emotions to further his experiment by testing a sample of his...formula."

"Yes the solution that made you into Poison Ivy. How did it feel?"

"It's not an experience I would want to relieve again. I felt my insides burn like they were put in a crucible. My vision began to change radically, I could see the molecules in our air, the pheromones nature emits into the world. My veins were black and spread quickly throughout my body. A moment of peace was interrupted by a deafening headache. I was in and out of consciousness for three weeks, all I saw was Jason smile and take notes of my progress."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Frail. To be a guinea pig, chained and strapped while not knowing if I was going to survive what occurred. He expected the concentration to enervate my immune system entirely, it did but was later merged with antibodies of the serum. I am one with this earth and the only one to understand and feel the constant pain, poisoning from the human every second of the day." Harley was writing notes down to further analyze the situation.

"How did you escape from Dr. Woodrue Ms. Isley?" Ivy wasn't smiling or angry, simply just blank of expression.

"A part of me did love him, I can't deny that from my past. But what did to me was unforgivable, at first I loathed him, now I can't thank him enough for allowing me to be eternally connected with all living organisms on this daming planet…"

"Please don't ignore the question, I can't do anything if you don't tell me what occurred." Ivy sighed.

"He locked me in the botanical gardens of the research facility, that was his first and last mistake. I saw in the distance a Abrus precatorius. I blew some microbes that gave the plant a growth spurt of such. It was 1000x stronger than the effects of common Nitrogen. That wasn't it though, I had control of the organism. As it grew rapidly the seeds were shooting off like pellets tossed under a lawn mower. He ran in and was dumbstruck from what he witnessed. The seeds spread under the soil, they grew and continued to multiply to my heart's content. The hybrids that were born with thorns and poisonous was thought to be impossible. I made their tall vines grab him and keep him still while I broke from his restraints. Walking up to him, he's frightened from the monster he created, such as Frankenstein and his rejection. I kissed him and as I drew away I saw his eyes turn red with blood running down his face as the rest of his body shut down from the biggest mistake he made which ironically was his greatest success."

"Well it certainly explains why you are contained." Ivy snickered.

"Yeah Wayne was particularly interested in obtaining a secure cell for me. It blocks my ability to communicate with the plants. Smart man, can't image how much he spent for this."

"Believe me, this is chum change to that man. I've seen him once use a hundred for a tissue because the one on the table weren't double layered or given a decorative stitching."

"So I'm taking a wild guess that you're not a fan of Mr. Wayne Dr. Quinzel."

"No, I'm more into a man who can make me laugh."

"Well good luck with that, all this place has to offer is creeps and the delusional. Men that feel too important to belong to anything but their own stupid obsession."

"Yeah I definitely didn't notice that at all," Harley said jokingly with a hint of sarcasm. "If anything that title belongs to Dr. Arkham."

"Amen sister. That bastard thinks that we're just animals he can lock in a cage and throw the key." Harley noticed that her session was almost over. This was a conversation that she won't mind continuing in the future when Dr. Leland takes another hiatus.

"I'm sorry to say that our session is about over. It was a pleasure to meet Ms. Isley."

"Please, call me Pamela Dr. Quinzel."

"Please, call me Harley everybody does." The guard was in sight to escort the doctor out. Harley waived out to the woman who is feared by many in this city, but for a second a wave was returned. This wasn't a bad start to a possibly great friendship. Everybody can use a friend in our casual lives, whether you have many or few, sometimes one is all you need.

Harley was walking back to the Doctor's Hall before she was stopped by a team of Arkham guards. "What is the meaning of this!"

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience Dr. Quinzel but Dr. Arkham wishes to discuss with you."

"May I ask what he wants to talk about at least?"

"It's above my pay scale Dr. Quinzel." She walked with the group of guards to the Executive Hall to the gray room that Harley always dreaded. The glass walls which revealed the budget cuts for the next quarter or termination of certain treatments with substitution of an ineffective yet cheaper one, disgusting.

In the room there were only two bodies, Dr. Arkham and Bruce Wayne. Both men shared looks of disappointment. Harley only kept one look, vexation.

"What is it now Dr. Arkham, can a woman simply not be given time to finish her work?"

"Of course but time is never a constant, it's expendable. Now I call you here today because I've been given notice."

"Notice of what?"

"...That some of our patients will be transferred to Blackgate Penitentiary." Harley's eyes widen with surprise.

"What?!"

"The new District Attorney is up for re-election and wants to show the city of Gotham he's worth the vote. His proposal to the mayor is to first transport one patient to Blackgate and if everything goes well they'll take more of our patients. That facility doesn't have the resources to contain our patients. This man's message is to end empathy as a substitution for true justice."

"Is there anything we can do?" Bruce stood up.

"I can speak to our dear DA. I'm sure a contribution to his campaign could shift the mindset of even the most ignorant individual." Harley wanted to know who was the first to go in this trial run.

"Who are they shipping off first?" Jeremiah looked at her.

"The Riddler." Both Bruce and Harley were confused. Riddler has had a quiet reputation in the institution but unfortunately also had a reputation for escaping when least expected.

"Yes Mr. Nygma is less of a threat as compared to some of the meta humans but we can't ignore that his recent track record before admitted is less than applicable." Jeremiah didn't look shocked.

"Well of course, in fact I wouldn't be recommending any of our patients being transferred to that prison where only more hell will break loose. That is one of the reason's why I had you come here. In a cooperative effort, both of you must find a way to persuade the DA to drop the case. I will handle our shareholders and board on my end. Just get Henry Mecham to stand down from making a fool of himself."

"Easier said than done," said Harley. "When is the proposal going to be enacted?"

"In two weeks." Bruce half chuckled.

"Challenge accepted."

"Good, keep me posted as the weekend arrives." Bruce left before Harley. She handed Jeremiah the revised evaluations. "Well, you're right here." With that she left the presence of Dr. Arkham and headed out into the halls.

"Agh damn it. So Mr. Wayne have any ideas besides bribing an elected official?"

"Actually yes, a dinner. We offer Mr. Mecham the chance to experience one of the finest restaurants in town which non coincidentally I own."

"Mind if I bring a date?" Bruce raised an eyebrow with interest.

"I thought you were single."

"Nope, I've been seeing someone very special for about a month now."

"Sure you can bring…"

"Jack, his name is Jack."

"Okay then, I'll have my secretary send you an itinerary."

"Sounds like a plan." Bruce went towards the elevator seeming to be following a cute little redheaded nurse. Harley made a judgy grunt, "Men. Well the one silver lining of this is I get to take my puddin to dinner. Oh shit! I need to get him makeup."

….Joker today was at the Laugh Factory in the Dark District of Bleak Island. Think of it as the Hells Kitchen of Gotham. This was the pinnacle of laughter and joy in the entire district. A place where your night could truly end with a bang. Just as the Iceberg Lounge many of Gotham's less than reputable citizens spend their time in a big room all containing a sense whimsy that immediately fades once leaving the building. Not to say there hasn't been conflict, a couple of the performers have ended up as icicles or dollotrons.

In the afternoon it was busy for today. A packed house with the underbelly of crime. There was a second floor where the villains had an exclusive viewing. Here they would discuss the daily grind in their gangs. At the time we have Mr. Freeze, Mad Hatter, The Ventriloquist, Two-Face, Penguin, and Joker laughing. None of them paying attention to the main performer, the six of them had plenty of material.

"Oh I got one," said Penguin. "How does a woman scare a gynecologist? She becomes a ventriloquist." Everyone busted out chuckling. Arnold couldn't help but giggle, Scarface made sure of that.

"No no this is better," said Two-Face. "How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from." Nobody could contain their laughter. People from below could hear them. Even some of them wanted to hear the jokes. " _Ah Harvey you wonderful bastard, I wish Pammie was here, she would of loved that."_

"I'm sure you have something better though don't you J?"

" _Oh you can read me like a book."_ J noticed the wanting audience below them. " _Hey Lee hand me a mic."_ Given a microphone he was gonna give them all a doozy. " _What do lesbians like to do on the reg? ...Fingerpainting."_ The room was deafening in amusement. Mr. Freeze spit out in shock from the punchline, laughing, he doesn't laugh at shit.

"Oh god if only Ivy was here." said Harvey.

" _It just came to me. Now where were we?"_

"We're here to discuss the future of Gotham," said Penguin. "I for one is proposing a solution to our new DA, Harvey any plans?"

"It's up to the coin. Heads we kill him, tails we don't." He flicked the half dollar up in the air and just before it landed on his hand Joker took it.

" _Sorry Harvey but this problem can't be solved with binary decisions. If we kill him it will only ensure the mayor and his council to approve of the relocation for our damned colleagues. I would enact fear, granted Crane is unfortunately not at our disposal. It doesn't mean we can't persuade Henry ourselves. Life is open to interpretation, I see it as flexible. Others see it in black and white. This fellow is from Chicago so somewhere a deep dish fits into place. Painting the town red is best in most cases, in this situation subtlety is preferred. After the problem is resolved anything can happen, Gotham is a big city. So any rejections?"_ Mr. Freeze stood up.

"What about the bat? We all know he's going to be keeping an eye on Mr. Mecham."

" _We'll get to that as the time comes."_ The Penguin wanted to call a final opening for any other suggestions. "Any follow up ideas?" Everyone was silent. "All in favor for J's plan." All six said 'Ay'

"It's settled then. J you're up now."

" _Excellent. First we'll need is guns, lots of guns."_

...Exiting the Laugh Factory hours later all were giggling like they were in a high school clique. Granted the club did serve booze so it wasn't all natural. These villains had no problem sharing a drink and a laugh now and again.

"Man we have got to do this shit again. It's been awhile since I've got this plastered." Said the more than intoxicated Mister Freeze heading to his car.

" _Guys (hic) don't drive while drunk, at this hour the bats is probably out searching for us. I'll have to call my driver."_ While J was talking to David for a lift the others were waiting filled with vodka and pita chips, they appeared to have meet on the day hummus was served. Penguin headed to his car, pausing he looked at his reflection. "Who the fuck are you looking at?" And with the crash of the glass the sooner J's driver got here the better.

An hour passed in getting everyone to their perspective hideouts. J was dropped off in front of Harley's townhouse. Being only 9:00 pm he didn't feel intrusive, only happy and a little tipsy. Knocking on the door he quickly checked himself, suit check, breath check, hair check, overall handsome. He pulled a bouquet of red Delphinium from his left coat sleeve. Harley opened the door with glee, always a beautiful smile everytime he saw her. "Hiya puddin, miss me?"

" _Of course love. Today went awfully slowww without your presence dear."_ That slur in his speech made her form a smirk.

"Sweetie, have you been drinking?" He began to giggle.

" _Just a little pooh."_ said while putting his index finger close to his thumb. " _The business meeting I attended to served drinks and frankly I'm a sucker for an oaky merlot hehe. I was thinking of you though the entire time hence the flowers."_

"Awww Mistah J you didn't have too." She glued onto him. "I do love them. Though not as much as I love you puddin."

" _I (hic) love you too Harley."_ Noticing his intoxication she wanted to try some things on him. "Aw poor baby, don't worry Mistah J. Your Harley is here to take good care of you."

" _Ya know, I can still feel my blood rushing."_ Harley was startled by the presence of his large member. Harley had naughty thoughts stirring in her mind. The night was still young and everyone could a little exercise now and then.

"My deeply charismatic Joker."

...


	9. Dinner with Rivals

For this installment let's zoom out of Gotham's grey scale and turn east to the Valley Hills, a piece of property outside the city by 21 miles. The wealthy tend to own vast properties there, usually for a second or third home when fall is around the corner. We zoom in on a particular home owner with 1000 acres at his disposal. This owner keeps his two lives separate because if they ever collide, those he ever cared for would suffer from his actions.

Wayne Manor has been in the family since 1754 when his family immigrated from Europe. His ancestors traded pelts, sold valuables, and hunted for survival. Their business thrived during the American Revolution to supplying rebel troops with munitions and smuggling goods across enemy lines. After the war Bruce's ancestors began making weapons for the union but continued their other ventures. The family was in the black from the start and continued to grow. Building the mansion itself didn't come about until 1781 when they settled down to start a family which would bring future generations to continue the Wayne legacy. Bruce has kept on his own promise to protect the work his parents has done for this city and the preservation of its infrastructure.

In the home of the Bruce Wayne, eccentric playboy billionaire with all anyone could ask for was underground in the east wing of the property. That area was used when Bruce's great great grandfather hid runaway slaves from during a time of civil conflict between ideals. However apparently that wasn't the last time the cave had been used. During a time of prohibition hundred of barrels of bourbons and assorted liquors was kept below. A couple of the barrels were still there, aged sin can taste so smooth. The cave had renovations after Bruce came back to Gotham to fulfill his promise. The bats that hung from the ceiling was a nice touch to the feel of the cave.

Today was Wednesday. Alfred was in the piano room playing three keys precisely. The bookshelf behind it was shifted back and to the left. What appeared was a silver elevator, it looked clean and sterile of anything, no layer of dust seemed to be able to come into contact with it. He went in and descended down into the cavern. As the doors opened he began to walk forward to the open area. The batcave had a rising platform for walkways and the various automobiles as well as aircrafts. Multiple holding sections were installed for Bruce's other toys. Each section was designed for the different type of threats he's had to confront in the last five years. The meta humans have altered the way to deal with core principles of justice.

Alfred was looking for Bruce to hand him a package, this was delivered from Oracle containing a filled binder with a black usb drive. "Master Bruce."

"Up here Alfred." Alfred looks up to notice Bruce standing upside down on the ceiling of the cave. He was well accompanied with a couple vampire bats.

"The package you requested is here sir."

"Good," Bruce walked down from the ceiling to the wall and finally the solid ground. "The blood was rushing to head for longer than I intended."

"Well I can see why." The boots Bruce wore were the kind you couldn't buy at a Dicks.

"I'm trying out a recent prototype Lucius developed in R&D. It's a Polyurethane blend, with an electric current from an arc battery pack in the sole. I figured it would make great for future recon missions."

"That's good sir," He handed Bruce the package. "A word came with this: 'I believe a favor is in order Bruce.'" Bruce smirked. "I can only imagine what she wants. Thank you Alfred."

"You're welcome sir." Bruce took the binder and search it after placing the usb in the batcomputer. "Sir I have to wonder, why have you decided to research particular individual. When it comes to women usually you use your billion dollar smile and added charm." The computer loaded the entire file and displayed the findings.

"Dr. Quinzel.", said Bruce. "I requested this to learn more about my 'co-worker' and her past. Let's see, earned a full gymnast scholarship later becoming salutatorian in Gotham University with a Ph.D. in Psychiatry. Currently working in Arkham Asylum for Intensive Treatment. High profile cases that would boost anyone's career. Many of those she's interviewed have mixed reviews of her methods."

"And that's just the patients?"

"Yes, Dr. Arkham hasn't been too fond of her. Personally I've seen no other to posses her temerity when cutting through the lies, especially with a couple of the 'patients'."

"Still though, everyone has a part of their life they like to keep secret."

"Like their dating history." Alfred skimmed through the papers. "It says she's currently single. Even so, a doctor was never your primary choice when it came to a romantic partner. The occasional model or actress would suite for a man of your divine caliber."

"Huh single, she said she was with someone for about a month now."

"Well the relationship is still new. Remember with Vicki Val.."

"Please don't remind me. Mind setting an appointment my specialty italian restaurant Alvaro's for an 8:00 pm for a private dinner this Friday."

"Of course sir, I'll notify the secretary after the call is made."

"Thank you Alfred."

"You're welcome Bruce." Alfred left the cave to go back to the surface. "His name was Jack...Jack what, dammit."

Now back to the immortal city of Gotham we turn to the Sorkin Street and Snyder Drive to Harleen's townhouse. With the two in bed waking up to the sunrise of the early morning. "Good morning handsome."

" _Good morning beautiful. Gonna do the daily grind of work today."_

"Nah, I'm calling in sick, wish me luck with my flu impression." Jay handed her his phone. " _Thanks puddin."_ She kissed him while the call transferred.

"Hello."

"Hi Dr. Leland it's Harleen," said in low, tired and somewhat sniffling tone for dramatic effect. "I'm not feeling so well, I think I caught something from a recent doctor's appointment. I don't think I'll be able to make it in today."

"That's alright Harleen I understand. Thank you for letting us know. I'll inform Dr. Arkham. Get some rest and eat some soup."

"Yes, thank you Joan."

"Hopefully we'll see you tomorrow."

"There's a good chance. Bye." Hanging up the phone Jay jumps on top of Harley in a mischievous manner.

" _Poor Harley, I think I need to take good care of my newly submitted patient. Don't worry now, Dr. J has all the remedies to heal your ailments."_ He began to french her with the fullest of tongue. Taking his hands and exploring her body from her legs to her neck. She blushed, feeling her heart contracting with an increasing pace she grabbed his right hand and focused it on her left breast.

"Ya have a prescription for me?"

" _I've always laughter to be the best medicine."_ He played with her inner thigh. A giggling Harley consumed with the urge to return the favor, she smacked his bare ass in heat. His smile widened, taking his hand he hovered around her vagina. Flicking her clit, kissing her full lips, gripping her throat as he furthered in advancing. Spreading her hand in his hair, teasing his cock with the other, biting his lower lip with want.

"Wanna fuck your harley puddin?"

" _You never have to ask love."_ Inserting himself inside her she screamed in pleasure. The bed springs jumped up and down as speed increased. This missionary position was a good choice from the last stunt he pulled from last night. But fear not, doggy style is never out of the equation of achieving full climax. Harley pulled her legs up, J responded by pressing down into his little jester. Sweat was appearing from the constant exercise which still felt somewhat new to him. Only ever making love to one women was a sensation gave him content, Harley is the only woman he ever felt attracted to both physically and emotionally, that would never change.

Feeling himself inside her was well pure bliss for Harley. To have your soulmate, the person you are meant to spend your life with fucking your hot, wet, and tight pussy. God yes.

"Yes Yes Keep thrusting Mistah J!" Her pussy tightened as the urge to cum came quickly. She turned onto her stomach to give her clown a spectacular ass shot.

" _My my sweets. Aren't you a horny little girl?"_

"Only you can get me wet puddin. And that monster of yours is making me cum on more than one occasion."

" _I thought I felt a spray earlier."_ She grabbed his cock and began licking her juices off it. Feeling her suck him dry lead him to ram it down her throat even further. " _Ah yeah I'm gonna cum."_ Harley kept swirly his tip with her tongue. Feeling a rush a of pleasure shooting through his body J covered his jester in homemade vanilla cream.

"Thank you daddy." She rubbed her breasts spreading his swimmers around making sure there was a thick layer around her nipples.

" _My pleasure."_ He picked up his girl and walked to the shower. Turning on the hot water both felt an awakening sensation to the rest of the day ahead of them. The steam opening their sinuses, relaxing muscles, and bringing a comforting sigh. They cleaned each other off before heading out to get ready for breakfast.

The kitchen was filled with recently bought groceries at the local G-Mart. Harley opened the fridge to see what she could make for her love. "How does an omelette sound puddin?"

" _Perfect."_ The burners were turned to high as the high functioning Harley cut both potatoes and bacon strips. Saute the potatoes with some onions in olive oil always makes the hungriest man satisfied, along with bacon of course.

"Puddin?"

" _Yes love."_

"Wanna come to a business dinner with a colleague and a city official?" Joker looked at her with some confusion.

" _What is the business?"_

"Just some discussions on the inmates at Arkham." Ouu now he was intrigued, just the other night he was discussing a similar situation at The Laugh Factory. Granted this definitely is not the same type of idea for an executed plan but a front row seat, why not watch? "Sooo…" Harley asked with uncertainty of what follows from her beloved clown.

" _I would love to come to dinner. Don't worry I will be discreet with my appearance when we dine out in the town."_ It is happy to see a partner support the other in a moment of need or reassurance.

"Oh thank you Mistah J. Believe me, you won't regret this."

" _Of course not, I'll be with you."_ She kissed him deeply on the lips. "I don't what I'd do without you puddin."

" _Still be in love with a homicidal clown."_

"Yeah."

As the days in the week passed Friday appeared at the end of this work week. The night was dawning for the soon arrival of Saturday. 8:00 p.m. isn't necessarily the latest time to have dinner, but this dinner wasn't meant late night excitement, it's meant for persuasion.

On the side street of Alvaro's a black Mercedes pulled up. What came out was none other than Bruce Wayne. He gave his driver a $100 dollar tip, "I'll be ready around 11."

"Sure thing sir, thank you." The escort drove away from the restaurant into the inner city of the Rhye District. He went into eatery, an old italian man greeted him as he walked into the door.

"Ah Bruce it's so nice to see you again."

"You too Angelo, how's the business?"

"Since you're adoption of it, the customers can't help but notice what I have to offer."

"Do tell, what do you have planned for this dinner.?"

"Eh shrimp linguine alfredo with roasted baby tomatoes and pine nuts. Or the filet mignon seared in olive oil and tousled it with five year aged parmesan. And tradition, spaghetti and meatballs with basil on top."

"Sounds delicious. And the wine selection is ready?"

"Yes. The cellar is stocked and available for your party."

"Thank you Angelo."

"No thank you Bruce." The man leaves to help out the cooks in preparing the meals.

Another car emerges at the side walk. It was a midnight purple colored Audi R8 with Xenon headlights. A man who wore a black suit went around the car to open the door for his date. She thanked him with a quick kiss. Wrapping her white glove hand around his broad arm they both entered the restaurant with a smile.

"Hello all. Sorry for the late arrival. Traffic on the freeway was maddening." said from the man in black. Bruce reached his hand out. "You must be…"

"Jack Napier," said while shaking Bruce's hand. "And this is my lovely dear, Harleen Quinzel." Harleen wore a pink one piece dress expressing her lovely curves. With some white gloves that went near to her elbows there was a hint of a Daisy Buchanan design. She was happy to be on a date with her puddin. Not that they haven't before, each time brings new memories to last for a lifetime.

"Hiya Bruce how are you today?"

"I'm doing well thank you Harleen. Dinner should be just about ready."

"That's hopeful, I'm quite famished." The three sat at the center table at the restaurant. "It's nice to finally meet Bruce, I've heard so much about you."

"I can't say I heard much about you Jack."

"I'm an introvert at heart. Doing a daily routine is fitting and overall relaxing. But recently in my life I found someone who has helped me reevaluate my priorities and goals. It might be a cliche but frankly I feel like the luckiest guy in the world." J noticed a small tear forming in her right. He handed her his pocket square.

"What is it that you do exactly?", Bruce wanted to know more about this mysterious individual.

"I'm a motivational counselor. I help those who may feel blue and I jolt them with positive reinforcement. Some of my patients pass through their conflicts and despair whereas some fall into the abyss. The job is rewarding in its own way and I'm very proud of what I've accomplished." Bruce looked at him oddly.

"It's so uncanny, you look very familiar."

"What can I say Mr. Wayne, I must have one of those _faces_."

"What did you just say?"

The front door opened. The young District Attorney entered the room and stood to smell the kitchen and embrace the flavors in the air. Bruce stood up to assist him.

"Mr. Mecham, welcome to Alvaro's."

"Quite impressive Bruce. The wait list for this place last time I checked was at least seven months, I do appreciate the invitation though."

"Please Henry, call me whenever you need a time slot." Henry looked at the table two see a couple sitting down laughing.

"I thought it was just going to be us tonight."

"Well Dr. Arkham believed that Dr. Quinzel should assist me in my mission tonight."

"To change my mind with the mayoral council?"

"That and to show you what real italian tastes like, the cannolis here are the best in the entire city."

"I'll be the judge of that Bruce." Henry sat himself down to join the rest. Jack and Harley greeted Mr. Mecham.

"How is Arkham treating you Dr. Quinzel?", Henry asked with no grandeur.

"Like a member of the family, there are times of disagreement and conflict between many but there are those moments of resolve that make it worthwhile. Discovering new ways to help heal those victims are how I contribute to our institution of mental health and well being."

"That is nice to hear."

"I have to ask, why transfer the patients now? I mean you have to realize that moving them from an intensive treatment ward to a maximum security prison will only bring chaos." Henry sighed.

"I do realize there may be complications in the process. However the end result will be keeping the people of Gotham safe from those heathens." The shrimp linguine alfredo was served with sides of garlic bread.

"Dam this is pretty good. I don't even need salt for this.", said Jack. "I'm sorry sweets but you may have your work out for you." Harley gave him a frowny face to which he replied "On second thought, this is a little too oily. It's like the U.S. is trying to invade my plate." The DA laughed from J's small joke. "Always leave em laughing."

As the dinner progressed the DA argued against Harleen and Bruce and in vice versa. Harleen felt like grabbing that man's throat for his complete arrogance for the safety to her patients. Joker would have killed him by now, unfortunately that wouldn't solve the issue. Patience was a virtue he held in entire even after his transformation. This problem he would deal with alone. He wasn't ready to show her the line you can't cross back once stepped over.

The dinner was almost over. The food was delicious but the goal wasn't achieved. The plates were wiped with bread and the tension could be cut with a knife. The oil cups were drained and J's pistol was loaded. Though this was the first attempt, it wasn't the best end result. "Thank you for the dinner tonight Bruce."

"It was my honor Henry. I'll send the chef's your regards."

"Please do. I can barely walk after all that. You're right, their cannolis are the best." Henry left with a face of satisfaction and a full stomach. Bruce was peeved from this failing.

"What the hell was that!" Both Harley and J were surprised from his outburst.

"Excuse me Bruce but I think you should reconsider your tone when addressing my girlfriend."

"Jack I don't believe you have any involvement in this scenario so please, fuck off." Harley was now ready to hit someone.

"Hey, only I can tell my boyfriend to fuck off!"

"It doesn't matter now anyway. Jeremiah won't be happy to hear this." Jack stepped in.

"Oh come now Bruce why should you care what Jeremiah thinks. This isn't over, you said there is still less than two weeks. Who knows, a lot can happen in just a week let alone two." Bruce didn't even respond, he just left. This Friday was a bump but let's see what the rogues come up with. Joker took his Harley for some much needed rest, the meal was still digesting and with the consumption of a couple wines, sleep is necessary.

" _Come now pumpkin, let's go home."_ He escorted Harley to his car and they went off back to her townhouse, to which they both showered and slept in Harley's queen bed at 12:37 a.m. "Goodnight puddin."

" _Goodnight love."_

One held the other as they drifted off into deep sleep.


	10. A Drive

Dreaming tends to bring nothing to me but black. Now it's not to say I've never remembered what occurred the previous night from time to time, I personally like to think of it like a game of Russian Roulette. Every time I sleep there's a one out of six or eight chance depending on the gun you use. Some nights bring nothing and a few give me a quick glimpse to my unconsciousness and all the deep desires inside. Staring into the abyss shows nothing but darkness. Sometimes it will stare right back without your awareness.

"Mistah J what are we doing here?" They were at the ACE Chemical Plant walking on the steel railings above the industrial holders. The green heterogeneous mixture of well...no one really knows, there was never an origin for this mysterious green liquid. She rubbed her hand on the railing, peeping down was a big vat with a titanium inner layer but shelled with iron on the outside. This section of the plant was always scarce in personnel. The fumes made many nauseous, others felt disoriented. The air filters were put in place after enough lawsuits were settled. Nevertheless the two were here, not exactly a place for a date.

" _I wanted to show you where I was reborn. Alone in this big tub, wearing a red hood and cape, god I never felt so scared. Everything burning, blood coming from eyes, tremors in my hands I couldn't shake, a deafening ring in my ears, and of course some slight angst. It was my destiny to become the man you know and love today."_

He was silent, staring at the vat he smiled. " _Do you trust me pumpkin?"_

"Yes." He grabbed her hand and held her chin up. " _I love you Harleen Quinzel."_ He kissed her before picking her up.

"Puddin!?" It was too late, resistance has been useless, he threw her into the vat. "AAAAAAAH!" She splashed into the green as Joker started laughing. " _Don't worry sweets, it will all be over shortly."_ He ran to the valve to drain out the vat. Harley was fully submerged into the liquid and all that was left is bubbles. The valve was twisted and the draining began, the liquid sinked into the drains but yet no sight of his Harley. Before it was completely empty J decided to come down to see his creation face to face.

What was right in front of him was astonishing. She was trembling from the cold air. Her skin was of the same ghost white hue as his, hair color had more depth along with her irises. The contrast with her skin showed emphasis with her lips, red as cherries and probably taste just as sweet.

" _Wow. You are so...breathtaking, a true jester of beauty."_

"Come here Mistah J, your Harley wants ta give ya some sugar." She jumped him, her mouth locked with his, heat and physical tension above all else, fun right?

"NO puddin stop!" The scream woke up Joker with worry.

" _Harley is everything alright?"_ Her shakiness eased as the seconds passed by but a couple tears fell from her eye. "Oh Mistah J I just had a frightening dream." His concern was genuine and understanding, granted his dreams brought back some undesired memories and tragedies.

" _What happened in your dream?"_

"You took me to a chemical plant."

" _That's it?"_

"No, you threw me into a vat of acid. It was like you were trying to make me reborn in your image. I'm sorry, I know it's just a dream. They shouldn't mean anything."

" _You never have to apologize to me Harley. I never will tamper with your divine image, you're perfect just the way you are."_ She snuggled back into her position on the bed, wrapped around him.

"Tomorrow, mind if I take you somewhere?"

" _Sure, Saturday's are open for me usually. What is it that you have in mind?"_

"A drive."

Saturday Morning

Joker and Harley woke up at eight in the morning. They showered, got dressed, and cared to have a big breakfast before strolling out the door to get on the Gotham Expressway. Harley gave him directions as they progress closer in the heart of New York state. Reaching Syracuse was the farthest they went together so far, this was needed for Harley and J wanted to support her in full for this.

The dead walk among us. Yes I've heard it enough times. Personally I never cared much about the afterlife, what happens, I have no clue. Most choose to mourn those they have lost. Harley and her family were no different. Once her grandmother passed away, she didn't leave her home for a week. It felt like a knife piercing through her chest, all she could do was wither in pain. With time she went back to her charming, fun, and carefree attitude. Life is merely a series of fuckups where the test is to see if you can handle all the collateral damage that comes with it.

" _This is your grandmother."_ He looked at the tombstone. It was a gray marble hue. The stone was polished, left with flowers from a previous visitor.

"Yes, this is my Bube." The tone she spoke was despondent. Despite it being a decade now, the feeling still didn't change. You can always move forward, but don't forget where you came from. Those we know and meet along our own journey's.

The sky was covered in dark clouds, the cold breeze of the morning brushing across Harley's skin. J took off his suit jacket to place it over her for warmth. Joker held her tightly, Harley's arms wrapped around her in response. "Thank you." A tear traveled down her cheek. He said nothing, just merely rubbed her back slowly for comfort. In his mind a thought of his family came to, actually just his mother. She committed suicide from years of abuse by a destructive, misogynistic, and alcoholic husband. One day she was discovered in the tub, both of her wrists were slit with a razor blade. The man of the house came home from an extended weekend of barhopping and gambling across town.

The funeral was not pleasant. A part of him died that day, sympathy. In the church young Jack stood two feet from the coffin were his mother would be spending time decaying and become nutrient for maggots. The church doors opened loudly with the father swinging and trying to brush of soot from his suit. The bourbon on his breath could be smelled from a distance.

"Looks like she bite the bullet in the end huh son?" Jack couldn't even respond. It was the one moment when there was no joke in disparity. "Hey speak when spoken to you little shit!"

"Fuck you." He went to the pew to wait for the priest to begin the service for the passing of his mother.

" _Ann."_ That name hasn't been spoken by him in a very long time.

"Who Mistah J?"

" _My mother. This sight reminds me of my mother's funeral. It was small, only family members came, those who cared enough. I walked in the grass glancing at the tombstones after she was lowered to her final resting place."_ He felt Harley's grip tighten around him.

"I'm so sorry puddin. How did she pass?"

" _In a bathtub, both wrists slit with a razor blade. She couldn't handle the life she possessed any longer. That's what I tell myself at least anyway. The vast emptiness I felt losing her presence was a month I never forget."_

"I could only imagine losing a parent. It would be hard for me to accept as an idea let alone an inevitability."

" _Well the past is the past. Should we return back home or do you want us to stay here for a little longer?"_ Harley noticed the evading of the conversation. She might ask him about it along the ride back to home.

"We've already have brought some pink roses and paid our respects. Just another minute puddin please."

" _Sure, anything for you sweets."_

The drive back to the Gotham was mostly silent with the occasional statement or random sneeze. Both wondered how much a person can be pushed to the point they can break. J was a nice example but he isn't like the average person. Insanity is something we all share but it's channeling it through properly is how you watch the world burn. Motive is the mistake most make when it comes to heinous acts against humanity. If they know why you act, they will crush you. Setting a bomb in a hospital and blowing it up is an example. Why kill so many individuals? You have nobody valued to any significance. The crave for destruction is there but even then the validity is unclear. It's because you can. The GCPD would chalk it to mental instability and the bat would rather smash your head into glass. Not every action needs a backstory. And that truly is the scary truth.

"How old were you when she passed J?" Her question made him sigh in his head. He shouldn't have brought out that skeleton from the closet.

" _Just turned seventeen at the time."_

"Was she married?"

" _Yes."_

"How did you father react?"

" _He laughed."_

"And how did you react to that?"

" _Sweets I'm not really in the mood to discuss this any further right now."_ This must have been a nerve that has never been poked or prodded before.

"I'm sorry puddin. I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to Mistah J. I'll always lend an open ear if you need it though."

" _Thank you."_ She couldn't help but be interested. His mentioning of a mother and possibly less than reputable father. All this happens around just becoming a young adult. There is a large gap between that and when he became the pale man. A period of time no one knows about but him.

Returning back to Gotham brought back the feeling of home. You need someone to innervate the crowds whether it is with a vile of Joker toxin or cyanide rain clouds with real death inducing convulsion for only a small price of $19.95, shipping and handling not included. Right now the presence of gloom always gave J a craving for bodacious cuisine. " _Wanna get some takeout pumpkin."_

Harley didn't feel like grabbing something to eat. In fact, she wanted to just sleep the rest of the day off. "No thank you Mistah J. I would much rather sleep in our bed for the rest of the day. But I do appreciate the offer though."

" _Okay love."_ He took her home. Turning the car off in front of the townhouse he noticed that she was already asleep. He smiled, " _my peaceful little Harley."_ Exiting out his door he went around to the other side. He unbuckled her seatbelt and slowly raised her up to his chest holding her wedding style. Using his key to get in he trotted up the stairs carefully to not disturb the sudden slumber.

The sheets were pulled down and then was the fun part, getting the doctor into the bed. He lowered her down with ease. It was like fitting into the right glove. Pulling the covers up to her chest he stopped and gazed for a second. This is his girlfriend, lover sounds better. Before he went downstairs to order some greasy Chinese he kissed her full lips. " _Pleasant dreams love."_

He went downstairs to fill an order. She smiled tasting him on her lips. "Next time I'll order Italian."


	11. Rude Awakenings

A tree in the distance has a leaf blown off its branch. The wind carries it to the point until gravity placed it to the ground. The point was designated to a field. This field had no significant value to anyone, just a patch of grass for deer to graze and men to run. Feet traversing through the flat plain of semi-moist ground from the recent rainfall. The clouds covered the sun entirely leaving no supporting illumination for the runner. The clapping of thunder arose from the mountain side of the Catskills. Nobody around for miles, it's the perfect place to wallow in self reflection. However this wasn't the time for doubt, it was the time for survival.

A gunshot was heard only a couple hundred feet from his position. Sweat ran down his face as he tried to flee the area. The silence was discomforting to him. Being in a town with nothing but background noise was a part of his element, now it's evaded and replaced by his own heartbeat.

"Jack!" The tone of voice caused the young adult to run faster, now entering into the trees. He was being chased from some associates of the Maroni family from a deal that went anywhere but south, it was actually on the east side of the state. Gun shipments by train had an unscheduled stop. Jack had been hired to sabotage the train by Falcone's assistant to ensure one side would not gain an upper hand. Dynamite was placed in the cargo and well you can guess what happened, combustion.

The rattling of gunfire was ensuring Jack to plan a better exit strategy. An escape plan was agreed upon but unfortunately the vehicle was shot up (including the driver) by an armored vehicle, just in case things couldn't get any worse. Best he could hope for is head down the mountain valley to the direction of the Hudson River to get back Gotham, or just kill your way through all the trench coat bastards.

The clouds shadowed the sun keeping a shaded surrounding to Jack's mini marathon. He wasn't the fastest runner but he should could outpace men in their later thirties to early forties, bullets however could outpace anyone, no record of a person who could outrun a speeding bullet at the time.

This was a simpler time for Jack, well simple seems broad. There was no men with capes, guardians of lanterns, scarlet speedsters, or even the concept of multiple earths. There was just Earth, him, and his goal, survive. No family, no friends, no ties, completely expendable on paper but Jack had his own ambitions.

"What do you see?" A painting of just a few brush strokes containing black pastel on a white canvas.

"Social injustice," he said sarcastically.

"Well Jack it actually displays feministic outlash from manist mentalities." The woman sarcastically replied to his joking manner.

"So is the paint telling the canvas to make it's own sandwich?" The woman smacked him half assed on the arm. "Hey Genie I'm only trying to interpret the piece. You know me honey, always making jokes." She couldn't help but smile. "Yes Jack, how could I forget my handsome comedian and all his natural charisma. But you know this stuff is important to me."

"Of course Gene. I can't help myself sometimes. I can make it up to you to later tonight if you want." Her cheeks stayed rosy red for a couple seconds. "We'll see Jacky." The two walked across the gallery to view the multiple settings displayed. Glasses of champagne were shared to the point where they were kicked out for unmannerly behavior at the casing, such a waste of pottery to be used as a waste bucket.

"Wake up you bastard! We're gonna have some fun with you tonight." Water was splashed on Jack's face. His vision was becoming focused from a previous blow to the head. Maroni's men caught up to him but wasn't an easy task, the men called in backup with a couple grenade launchers.

"Boys c'mon you call this foreplay? I thought Sal preferred a thick slab of genoa salami to the face instead sadistic behavior or did you not swallowed up the ranks yet? The pejorative response from the other man was another punch across the jaw.

"You think you're quite funny huh?"

"I actually am a comedian on the side when I'm not making your people's lives a living hell. I can't imagine how much Sal lost in those cargo shipments, hehe." He was given a couple more punches in an attempt to wipe off his grin. It didn't work.

"Jack!" Screaming coming from another room. He was in the living room downstairs but could hear it and climbed up with velocity.

"Gene what's wrong!" Seeing her calmed him. She didn't appear to be dying or losing sanity any time soon. The room however looked like a jumbled mess that only a wild bobcat could replicate.

"I can't find my mother's earrings." She stated worryingly. "Can you help me honey?" You know that look your woman pulls to get what she desires, Gene was no different. But Jack was more than happy to help. He is a man of respect and gang violence.

"Of course Genie," said with a mischievous back tone. "Anything for you." He assisted her with a second look around of their bedroom. He placed a little box in the dresser when she was looking under their bed. Jack went to the walk-in-closet to look "busy".

"Jack," she breathed heavily, almost near ecstatic.

He grinned, "Did you find your mom's earrings?" Turning around Gene jumped him and they both fell on the bed.

"Yes!"

Blackness was illuminated with the cream interior of a 49' Coupe de ville. "Yes, we're almost out of the woods Jack." He remembered that voice. What was shocking was how he wasn't dead yet.

"Tony is that you?"

"You know it Jack. I figured you could use a helping hand. Falcone sending you here alone would be a suicide mission."

"The real victim is your Cadillac old friend. New York forests with this suspension, I'm not religious but my lord."

"Yeah I wasn't thinking, when Harold told me about the current detail with the job I assumed Maroni would have heavy retaliation."

"You have no idea. You should have seen the armored vehicle. Luckily these "professionals" were clumsy with their inventory. Jack pulled out a M16 from his duffle bag. The grenade launcher attachment was handy to say the least in having Sal's men lose their trail heading back to Gotham. Hopping on an I-87 on ramp heading south Jack could see patches of smoke evading from the forest through the side mirror.

"Honey how was your day?"

"Exhausting. Even a job you love can drain you of all energy."

"You're telling me." Gene attempted to stand up but fell back down in her chair. "Dam, this baby is so heavy. I don't even wanna think about pushing it out." He lend her a hand.

"Only a couple more weeks Genie and we'll have our little one sleep in the room next to ours." She teared a little. "Oh Jack I'm so proud of us, so many obstacles but we prevailed and our family is coming to fruition. Nothing could go wrong from here I believe."

"Shhh, don't say that dear. Next thing you know the sonogram readings were wrong and you will have to pump out two."

"At least he or she would have someone to play with."

"One at a time my love, one at a time."

"Excellent work gentlemen, I am very pleased with your results in the Catskills. Sal will be hurting for the next couple of months."

"Thank you Mr. Falcone," said Tony.

"Yes, I appreciate your gratitude Falcone." He noticed Jack's distance.

"Jack is there something wrong, you don't seem like yourself today."

"Genie had a miscarriage two days ago. A still birth a week before the expected due date." Falcone shared a look of empathy with Tony.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like some time off? Maybe a pre-bonus for an early vacation to clear your mind?" Jack didn't really care for either. Gene was the only thing on his mind and he wanted nothing more than to see her smile again.

"Sure, both will work I guess."

Driving home was gloomy that afternoon. The rain insisted on blinding the environment around him. All he could see was a foot of space in front of him. Clashes of deafening thunder could not be drowned out by Vertical Horizon. A sharp disturbed sense pulsed throughout his body. He speed home despite the weather conditions. He needed to see her, to make sure everything was okay.

" _I don't want to set the world on fire."_

"Genie!" He heard nothing but The Ink Spots from upstairs. A pit was forming in his stomach. Turning to see the kitchen, on the counter open bottles of wine were empty.

" _I've lost all ambition for worldly acclaim."_ Noticing what looked like a blood trail he raced to the top of the steps. The drips ended to the bathroom in their bedroom. Twisting the locked handle he budged till his angst overcame him. "GENIE, please honey stay calm. I promise I can help you just gimme a moment." He kicked the door down but what he saw after that, he wished it was welded shut. " _I just want to start a flame in your heart."_

In the bathtub Gene was consumed in a bathtub of her own blood. A bottle of wine and a couple bottles of drugs were on the window sill. Her right wrist was slight all the way to the end of her forearm. The lifelessness in her eyes caused Jack to become paralyzed. The force of will made him run to the tube. "Genie no no god dammit please don't go." He quickly checked her pulse. Unfortunately she passed a while before in the day. He began to cry into her after pulling her out of the tub. Covered in the bloody water of his dead wife, all he could do was hold her while the desire not to join her faded. He did love this woman. He blames himself for not knowing her pain. Some people can be pushed to the brink. We never truly know what is going on in people's minds. "I'm so sorry Gene." He was having flashbacks of when his mother was discovered and that caused him to vomit for reliving a similar deeply traumatic moment. He screamed but that pain didn't subside, it never did really. Eventually time prevailed, not in an orthodox manner but he became a man who could smile again, his sardonic smile.


	12. Just Another Day

In the office of the District Attorney, Henry Mecham was at his desk writing his next case to indict Warren White for embezzling millions from the Gotham Stock Exchange. "Mr. Mecham, would you like something to drink?", his assistant asked. "No thank you. Michelle come here, I need your thoughts on this." Henry takes out the billboard showing a picture of Warren in the center with red threads connecting him to different documents and newspaper highlights.

"Sure," seeing the board she wondered if he solely made it himself. It resembled what many would see on crime shows and psychological thrillers. "Was this made entirely from you?"

"No, some of the officers at the GCPD gave their insight to the case. This man has set a claim for insanity. I personally don't believe it, a man knowing he's going to be in jail for the next couple decades without possibility of parole thinks pleading being a nut will get him off easy."

"But sir, if he's successful in pleading insanity wouldn't he be transferred for 'treatment' at Arkham Asylum?"

"Yes and a person like him will quickly discover that federal prison is more hospitable." The assistant took a piece of paper and wrote 'gangs' on it. She placed the paper on the board and stuck a thumb tack carrying a string to the center.

"Gangs? You think some of the super criminals are affiliated with Mr. White? He thinks less of those freaks than average citizens. And what he says is less than appealing."

"Yes, that's the perfect cover for him though. 'Why would he associate with people he despises.'"

"He could have helped launder money as well as embezzle from others. This means there's potential to arrest these villains if this conspiracy ends up being true, 'RICO'. Tomorrow I'll look into this further and ask a couple favors with the mayor's office. Get some rest soon Michelle, the next couple of days will feel like hell." Michelle noticed that the clock hit 11:17 p.m.

"See you tomorrow Mr. Mecham."

"Goodbye Michelle."

Henry walked down the floor and entered the elevator to go to the garage. Driving to his apartment he felt ready to get to his bed. A buzz came on his phone. It was from Susan, she was in Bludhaven working with their D.A. on the trial against the huntress with intervention from Nightwing. He personally missed her. When he worked with her he sensed a connection and was sure it had become mutual. He was looking forward to seeing her in a couple months.

Entering his home he noticed the lights were turned off but could hear the sink running. Walking to turn it off he then heard the living room television blaring the news. His nerves weren't shocked, but he was making sure to be alert. " _Did you ever consider what your intentions lead to?"_

"Who... **SMASH"** Henry fell to the floor. Joker appeared from the darkness behind him. He turned off the television and drag Henry out of his apartment.

….."Mistah J, are you sure that Batman didn't follow you?"

" _Of course love, I've been playing cat and mouse with batsy for years. After we're done here the bat will probably begin his recon search for our dear district attorney. He already failed saving the last one, he won't make the same mistake twice."_

"I must congratulate you on the suit puddin. It works perfectly, it definitely represents your sapid taste sweetie."

" _It contains your true beauty and I'll be tearing you out of that when we get to bed after this, I bought some whip cream earlier."_

"Okaay guys can you finish this up so you can start your game of intimidation." Henry apparently was awake during their little conversation. " _Did you know Harvey Henry? How did it feel inheriting the mess he left behind?"_

"It was hell the first couple months. I had assistance and input from smart people. I knew regaining the trust of Gotham's citizens would take great effort and hell, I'm still making the effort. And the best way to reinstate that trust is sending freaks and monsters like you to the same place I send the rest of our criminal scu…" Jay wrapped a wire around his neck. The sound of henry choking was music to his ears. Harley was giggling to the pleased look on her puddin's face. " _Now listen and listen fucking well. You will be in court voting on the 'chaos law' in a couple of weeks with the mayor, delegates and state representatives. The rest of those imbeciles have been persuaded to turn against this foolish bill because this is an all in or out scenario, the last chess piece to topple is you, Gotham's fresh white knight. So will you vote against the bill or not?"_ He loosened the wire around his neck. Gasping for air Henry screamed, "Fuck you!" Joker snickered. " _Ah Henry, is that any way talk when there's a lady in the room?"_

"She's doesn't seem like a lady Joker. Especially if she's crazy enough to be with fuck up like you!"

" _Harley dear, do you mind passing me my knife?"_

"Sure baby, anything for you." Giving her his five inch blade, platinum trim with rubber grip. It was gray with a purple outline, a piece of him he could travel with. " _It's funny, I had a job as a butchers apprentice over one summer. The man was nice, taught me well, a real example of a father figure. He believed in precision, quality over quantity, and with beef marking at 6.57 a pound, there had to be more meat than fat. I spent so much time trimming the fat, I believe that's where my patience spawned."_ Jay traced the blade over his skin. Henry didn't say anything yet, the blade had not break the skin.

"Is this father figure of yours one who had sadistic tendencies?"

" _No. I knew how to hide who I really was. Those I'd care for I pushed away and some benefitted."_

"And the rest died I'm guessing?"

" _Yes, but they didn't deserve it."_ He pressed the knife into his right arm. His screaming filled the room neither Harley or Jack weren't phased. Taking out the knife Jack pressed it against Henry's skin and began trimming off the top epidermis. " _Will you reconsider or will I have to continue this down to your lower body?"_

"Alright! Alright! I'll vote against the bill just stop you crazy fuck!"

" _Good boy."_ He closed the bloody knife and placed it in his pocket. " _This bill couldn't work out even with the best of intentions. Stupid politicians. Oh and because I think more than just your word is required, we'll be keeping an eye on Susan until the bill is denied. If you mention any of this to her or too anybody, I'll have Victor Freeze turn that flame of yours into an icicle. I have eyes and ears everywhere Henry. Don't fuck with us. Batman can't be in two places at once. If one falls it will be either you or her so tread likely for a bit. This will all be over….eventually."_

"You son of a bi... **SMASH"** Henry was again knocked out from Joker's hard fist. " _Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Remember that love."_

"I will Mistah J." They held hands while walking out the building. Jay made a phone call directing his men to take Henry back to his home. " _You did good sweets."_ Harley canonize him and she knew the feelings mutual. "Thank you puddin, I love watching you work."

" _Eventually I'll have to teach you the ways of knife cutting. You wouldn't think it's complicated to cut things but focus is key as well as speed."_

"Hey Mistah J, what you said about the apprenticeship, was it false?"

" _Some of it yeah but the patience was real. God I cut so much meat. It's one of the reasons why I stick with having my meat already trimmed and packaged."_

"Wanna get a burger, I'm kind of hungry right now." Jay looked at her. " _Really, it's 2:38 in the morning."_

"So McDonalds?"

" _Well fine I guess, are you sure, I can make some alfredo at home."_

"Please puddin, I'll share my fries with you."

" _Oh so enticing, and the ketchup that comes with the bag? Hehe the last time I ate a burger I looked under the bun and I yelled 'where's the pickles!'_ Both chuckled for a couple minutes. A phone call was made placing an order for one of his goons to get their food.

At Harley's townhouse…

The shades were pulled down, lights were dimmed, tv was turned off, clock was ticking, the home was filled with a Febreze scent. Jack pulled out a record to play on Harley's Bluetooth LP. Flipping the switch, the mechanical arm slowly moved to the edge of the vinyl. Spinning at 33 RPM the first sound they heard was a piano. A knock came from the door, it was the goon. " _Billy thank you so much for getting us this. Here's some cash for your troubles."_ He handed him a couple hundreds. "Thank you so much sir."

" _You have a good night son."_

"Goodnight sir." Jay closed the door and walked towards the dining room. He opened the bag with the golden arches. In the bag he pulled out two Big Mac's, one large fry, ten ketchup packets, and three napkins. " _Nothing like cholesterol for less than ten dollars."_

"Yes but you have to admit it's tasty though." Joker raised an eyebrow.

" _Yeah, if your under the influence."_ He handed her the burger and fries. Jay pulled out a chair for her. "Thanks puddin." Jay grabbed a bottle of beer and chugged it. " _These two work hand in hand, the only reason why I get beer really."_

"Speaking of hand in hand." She zoomed out of her chair and headed to the kitchen. A minute later she returned with a Costco size tub of Hellman's mayonnaise and a spoon. "Let's have something different."

" _But Mayonnaise, Really?"_

"Oh yeah. It's salty with a hint of tang, very delicious." She scooped up some mayonnaise and plopped it on the Big Mac wrapping paper. Scraping two fries together against the condiment, she got closer to Jay. "Please, try it, you'll enjoy it." Slowly his mouth opened and her fingers went in to place the fries on his tongue. Joker's mouth closed trapping her soft fingers. She felt his tongue travel in between them. She smiled at him and he pulled his head back. " _Grease and salt, pretty good."_

"Ketchup is nice but I've grown to enjoy the mayonnaise more."

" _I understand sweets, we tend to stick with what we're used to. Sometimes we have to try things we find odd and unusual."_

"Yes Mistah J." Hearing a change in tune from the LP, the beat speed up and the desire to dance was in the air. Joker stood up from his chair. " _Care for a dance sweets?"_

"I'd love that Jay."


	13. Regaining The Experience

Coming back to Gotham city was a step towards acceptance. Down Interstate 3, the ten lane highway was packed with vehicles trialing for miles. An accident occurred causing a pile up distorting the natural flow of rush hour traffic.

Traveling from upper New York state, Jack returned from his 'hiatus' after the passing of his late wife Genie. When the funeral was finished he couldn't stand living in their old home and set fire to it. After the act of arson he just drove in the Challenger and headed North to the Catskills Mountains.

The cabin was quiet during most days. Besides the times when flocks of birds swept the sky from hearing gunshots from his twelve gauge. Civilization was the least of his worries. The passing of his wife left him hollow which nothing could fill. Her parents berated him for the death of their daughter. Jack couldn't even focus on their grief, he was to consumed with his own. A love he never thought to rediscover in life. The last five years felt like they just vanished from his timeline. The incessant thought of losing both his wife and child led him to contemplating suicide.

Being pushed to the side brink looking for a way out he stuck a Glock into his mouth. Thinking of seeing her again was enticing but he knew she wouldn't want him to end it like this, at least not damage his face. He took the Glock out of his mouth and chuckled. She was a little superficial in that regard.

"Dammit Genie, hehe."

He heard a thump from the window. Turning around he looked out to see a bird on its back injured with what seemed like a broken wing. Picking up the bird, the neck was easy to twist in a full 360 degree spin. He knew he didn't have to kill it but seeing the tiny thing suffer, pain can be endured but once it becomes constant, death is usually preferred. He grabbed the shotgun and ran outside to begin target practice. The day continued on the thrive of smelling the fumes of gunpowder.

Back on the highway...

The sound of multiple cars pushing on their horns woke Jack from his moment of contemplation. Snickering from the scene he turned the Challenger around and passed through the emergency connector. He decided that a long detour was worth when compared to waiting till the tow trucks came along to move the mess. People were always in the way so he decided to only keep in contact with the little he knew and cared for. For now he was alone. Time would eventually prevail to the moment he would share himself with another like he did with Genie. But that time isn't coming soon.

Driving down to a bank he decided to withdraw all the cash from his account. Exiting from his car he noticed that the bank changed logos for the fifth time this decade. "When one bank falls the, another one arises to swallow it up. NT&M bank merged to GNB, color decor switch from gold to platinum, leather to fabric, and brunette to blonde. "Welcome to Gotham National Bank. How may I help you today sir?"

"I'd like to close my account if that's all right."

"No problem sir, please swipe your." Jack swiped his old NT&M gold members card. The reader buzzed with a red light flashing. "I'm sorry sir but your card being read."

"It is pretty old miss. I've had this card since old bill left the office."

"Oh that's fine sir. I can take a look at the card. The merger with the GNB has altered and filled storage files so finding clients takes just a little bit longer."

"Okay that's fine." Jack gave the women the card and waited.

"Mr. Napier."

"Yes?"

"You have three accounts and a security deposit box associated with our company. Are you sure you would like to cancel the accounts and clean your box?"

"Yes Miss…"

"Quinzel."

"Yes Miss Quinzel. It's time to make some changes in my life. Hopefully this money and the possessions will help me make things right."

"Well I wish you well Mr. Napier. This amount will probably have a positive impact in the long hall."

"Thank you Miss Quinzel." Jack went to the manager's office where he was handed an explicit amount of money and was handed his security deposit box. Before leaving he waved to Miss Quinzel with one hand and held a briefcase with the other. Turning the ignition of the challenger he speed off to his temporary home.

Taking a quick look at the apartment he knew this was just a temporary situation but couldn't help but find himself going in the right direction. People believe that losing someone is life-shattering but Jack realized that this was just a test of character. He decided not to break down and fall into the dirt left with nothing but despair and anguish.

"You haven't become a monster, even after the transformation."

" _I never forgot those I knew even though they thought I've died in a chemical spill."_

"That still kinda confused me puddin, so did you fall in the vat by accident or was this an act of vengeance?"

" _During the time I remember Batman coming towards me with a look of evil in his eyes. I was shaken before he assaulted me. Looking back at it earlier, I worked with Riddler temporarily to find out that Red Hood obtained a batsuit after the actual Batman was lost in time or whatever. There was quite a couple continuity issues in the past decade but those got arbitrarily fixed so readers could get a fresh start."_ She looked at a picture of him from when he was an attendant from A.C.E Chemical.

"You look cute puddin. You still look handsome and beautiful."

" _It's funny, I didn't think the first time we've met was actually at a bank. God it feels like yesterday I returned to Gotham City."_

"It was a temporary job to pay for small expenses during college, the knowledge was free but the books were hundreds of dollars."

" _I never went to college but I did learn a thing or two while being a lab assistant. After my 'life changing experience' I decided to test certain concoctions on subjects which lead to more than pleasing results."_

"At least they smiled in the end."


	14. Cat

The following day at Arkham Asylum Harley entered with optimism and a slight hangover. Last night was crazy and filled with excitement, loud music, tequila, and some clown on quinn action. The tequila was the first strike, timing at Sunday night was the second strike, and not calling off work was the final strike. Opening the door to her office she noticed Jeremiah Arkham leaning on her desk. The peeved expression on his face was evident while Harley's was aplomb. Time to start.

"Damn it!" A stack of newspapers was thrown on his desk. "The D.A. is officially missing in Gotham city and now the vote is postponed. Are you sure you haven't seen Henry since the dinner?" Harley immediately called him out.

"No I haven't seen Mr. Mecham since the failure of Saturday's dinner. Now I don't appreciate you in my office when I'm not here."

"I have the keys to every room in this asylum. And also I'm your boss."

"I still have the right to privacy with my own devices. And also I do believe you being at the dinner could have helped persuade Mr. Mecham instead of leaving me with an arrogant billionaire."

"Say's the one who brought her date to an important dinner deciding the faith of our patients." Harley snapped back.

"Oh please Jeremiah, you wouldn't mind a smaller inventory of patients in this facility, not that you have participated in any case studies lately." Dr. Arkham stands up straight and walks towards the door.

"I believe redemption is possible within anyone. The only problem with that statement is with each failure, pessimism begins to take control and hope becomes absent." After finishing that statement he left.

Harley just shook her head with dissatisfaction. Hope can't be diminished. Jeremiah's pessimism is an internal struggle. No matter how many times you fall, you have to stand back up. Harley picked up the newspaper and started reading the headlines.

"Mr. Mecham was allegedly kidnaped by one of Gotham's rose gallery. Some are linking this to the workings of Two-Face. Did they pick that choice out of thin air? Mr. Dent hasn't been seen in almost a year. The newspaper apparently didn't acquire any sources from the Arkham board. Those corporate suck ups wouldn't mind giving their opinions."

Buzz..Buzz

Harley pressed the button. "Dr. Quinzel you're appointment is being held in the Arkham Manor on the third floor."

"Thank you Sarah. How's your day?"

"It's fine, I received some flowers from Bart. These blue hortensia's are beautiful."

"That's nice. I'll talk to you later."

"Talk to you soon, bye." She released the button and looked for the next patient file. Selina Kyle. The folder opened to a photo of her mugshot. She had scratches all around her neck with a couple bruises on her left cheek. It had to be taken after a conflict arose from the Maroni crime family. Harley took the file and a recorder with some coffee.

The sky became engulfed with clouds, a storm was emerging soon so Harley began speed walking across the courtyard. The building contained a gargoyle perching at the top level above the entrance. The eyes were facing down looking directly at Harley. It needed repair badly but there was probably no money in the budget to replace a stone gargoyle.

Instead of utilizing the elevator Harley decided to use the stairs. It was only three flights of a six floor manor. The mix of victorian and gothic architecture was gorgeous. The railing along the stairs curled with a slant at each step. Light fixtures hanged from ceiling, some contained actual candles. Even the doors to each floor shown marks and indents. They haven't been painted in years, fading pearl white turning grey.

Reaching the door a guard patrolling the area gave her the clearance to enter. What Harley saw was a woman around her age chained to the steel table. She had straight pitch black dark hair cut at medium height. There were still scratch marks around her neck. The iris color around her pupils were a vibrant tint of green, around the color of a cats eyes. She had a somewhat nefarious look on her face that reminded Harley of Dr. Arkham.

"Hello Miss Kyle. I'm Dr. Quinzel and I will be seeing you for a couple weeks while Dr. Leland is on vacation."

"Thank god. I don't think that woman knows relaxation if it smacked her in the face."

"Dr. Leland is heavily invested in her work. What brings you in Selina?"

"Well I didn't exactly come here on my own volition. I got mixed up in a dicey situation with some less than reputable characters." Harley looked at her wounds.

"Is that how you attained those wounds?"

"Yeah but not the way you would think though."

"Would you mind to elaborate?" Selina had a moment of hesitation.

"...Sure Dr. Quinzel. I had a contract with the Maroni family to steal from the "The Roman" Falcone in order to acquire the Grey Diamond for myself and a couple sets of tacky rare pearl necklaces. It was an easy score, not to brag but "The Bastard" Maroni turned his back on the agreement and notified Falcone of a possible intruder. I was under fire after retrieving the goods, luckily I have excellent agility. After evading the gunman I ended up on a roof sweating, tired, and a little damaged. The railing along the side of the building had a rigid metal lining that needed to be replaced twenty years ago. Running along the roof I was about to jump off until I felt a grappling wire wrap around my legs and fell.

I turned on my side to notice a shadow figure coming towards me. It was Batman. He untied and lifted me up, whispered in my ear to give up the diamond. He didn't know I also stole the pearls but the diamond I wore around my neck. I refused obviously and we talked for five minutes before more of Falcone's men showed up. We worked together and took down those hired guns. Batman and I have excellent chemistry in cooperative combat.

When I first encountered him, he actually intimidated me. Overtime we seemed to play a perpetual game of cat and mouse to the point it became a stereotype almost. The one constant though was the sensuality. I still haven't taken off his mask despite the number of encounters we had. There is just something I feel when he holds me. It's not an orthodox relationship, I'll want more in the future. I don't even knows what he looks like, although he's seen my hair long and flowing."

"How long has this relationship been going on for?"

"About three years now."

"Do you see yourself with this man three years from now?" Selina nodded.

"I can see myself in his bed. I swear the sexual tension between us could be cut with a butterknife. I don't know if you would understand that." Harley smirked.

"You would be surprised. There's always an attraction to the outlier. I'm not the kinda girl that went to the bad boy or the popular, I'm fascinated by the unusual."

"And I'm fascinated with a man that dresses in a batsuit. You can't help who you fall for." Selina blushed from what she was gonna say. "He said I looked breathtaking under the moonlight with that diamond around my neck. He has a soft spot for me and let me go that time. Just before we parted ways for the night we kissed."

"Not a bad way to end the night." Selina just layed back.

"I honestly needed to get that off my chest."


	15. Open

Bzzz..Bzzz. Harley answered the call. Receiver pressed and a segment of static was heard before a familiar voice was perceived.

"Hello Dr. Quinzel, you have a meeting with the board in ten minutes."

"Thank you Sarah." The receiver was let go. Before leaving she looked at her attire in the mirror she installed recently here at her office. It's a piece she took to work, gave a home vibe to the atmosphere. There was a smile forming but once it reached the max in terms of width she stopped and reverted the smile back to a still face, emotion not revealed, only to him, only in private, only when it was necessary. With that she left to go onward to the board meeting in the Lodge.

"Huh." A man woke up from a deep slumber. The throbbing sensation from a blow to the head numbed his inhibitions temporarily. He had trouble identifying his surroundings as a ringing from the head trauma began to drown out his yells of anguish. A dark figure came out under the a lamp from the darkness with an insidious chuckle.

" _Wake up batsy, I'm getting anxious. Would you like a drink?"_ Shaking a bottle of Disaronno in front of Batman's face.

"Joker. What is the point in asking me, I'm tied up?"

" _I can still pour it in your mouth. Man you seem a little peeved, tell me bats, what's your damage?"_

"I have a board meeting to attend too, and I think my right eardrum might be blown out."

" _Please, don't lie to me bats. I know you think you have more pressing matters but first I would like to talk about a realization I had lately."_ He took a big swig of almond liquor.

"Go ahead. It's not like I have a choice."

" _No, you don't."_ He pulls up a chair right in front of him. Neither changed expression but Joker breathed heavily. The right eye twitched suddenly then returned to normal. " _You ever feel like we go through a continuous cycle? I mean every time we come into conflict, fighting initiates, berating begins, and eventually one falls. It's temporary at first, you capture me, I ignite a rage within you and the fighting starts all over again. If I catch you, I give some exposition, maybe a little torture to go on the side but in the end, you escape, plotting a method to destroy my plans. After the third act of the arc my intentions are silenced while your figure is revered throughout Gotham. I'm put back in my vacant lot up the hill and you wait, watching from top of the skyline with an earpiece listening through the police scanners and whoever else you talk too feeding you intel of cynical actions against humanity. Body or bodies appear in horrific conditions, beaten, cut, gutted, sliced with a smile in the end, bingo, you found my mark. You search for my location around and once you discovered my position, the cycle starts again. Sounds about right?"_

A moment passed between them before one spoke. "Yes. It's actually too accurate."

" _Exactly,"_ He pulled out a cigar and light it with a match. " _I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately. Between my work, you, my romantic interest, and Arkham Asylum, I haven't had enough time to myself to hear the silence."_

"What are you doing at Arkham Joker?"

" _You'll find out eventually Bats. I'm done with you at the moment old pal."_ He stood up from his chair and kicked it back. " _Nighty night Bats."_ Batman was knocked out unconscious from a powerful blow to the head.

Back in Arkham: The board meeting has begun. "Good morning everyone. I'm glad mostly everyone is here." An executive of Arkham Asylum's Trustee Committee began the conversation. "Unfortunately due to unknown circumstances Mr. Wayne was unable to join this meeting. Furthermore let's begin the session before we surpass the time block in our own schedules. Dr. Arkham, has there been any notice of Mr. Mecham's return?"

"Since the last time I've talked to the GCPD there has been no further additional information on the disappearance of our District Attorney. I personally suspect it was the workings of one or multiple associates of Batman's Rogues Gallery."

"Who do you expect is the culprits then?" Jeremiah looked at Harley before answering the trustee. "We have a list of people who've escaped or haven't been admitted back from past event. From the list we have four prime members: Riddler, Kite Man, Two-Face, and Joker. The Riddler has been hiding since the events of Dark City so he was ruled out. Kite Man was last seen in Nicaragua capturing intel for local cartels. Two-Face is seen in multiple cctv recordings from the Hellsworth's Bank heists, taking in fifty million dollars. Batman was last seen by the GCPD a week ago, investigating leads into Harvey's crimes. Joker however raised a red flag to me personally though." He pulled out a letter. It appeared crumbled, tinted tan color and worn. Some blood droplets were shown on the letter. "I found this within the Joker's cell. It reads: "I see a person walking the halls of this facility to be guilty of corruption. My leering eyes followed the mannerisms and behaviors of this individual. I can imagine how that person would feel having a straight razor pressed under their abdomen down to their thigh. Pain is momentary but trauma truly resides in all of us. Mortuus rem."

"Mortuus rem? What does that mean?" Said one of the Doctors.

"Dead matter." Jeremiah answered.

"You don't suppose The Joker is addressing someone in this room?" Everyone twisted their heads left and right. Jeremiah intervened, "I'm not sure. There's no details suggesting he's directly commenting on one of us. This facility has over three hundred on payroll and houses two hundred with thirty held in intensive care. I have no idea."

Ring Ring...Ring Ring. The conference phone lit up. Jeremiah turned on the speaker. "Yes Susan." " _Hello Jeremiah."_ Everyone in the room went silent. " _Don't worry, this isn't coming from within the building, I'm relaying the frequency so it can't be traced. I assume you've read the letter I 'left' in my home away from home."_

"How did you…?"

" _Jeremiah, I have eyes and ears everywhere, literally. Oh and your wrong, I was addressing one of you in that glass prone room. You already know who you are. Don't worry yet, I have other affairs to attend to. I'm actually dropping a package to your location right now. It's big, tough, and brutal but you can't help but adore it. If you don't want him, there will be a receipt in the sleeve just in case. Goodbye."_

The call dropped and everyone in the room started chatting. Anxiety was beginning to fill the room. It was only elevated when the sound of the glass wall shattered with a body launched onto the table. Dr. Arkham turned the body over and it revealed to be Batman. He was bloody and bruised. His cape was missing and the helm was cracked in three places. Some glass was stuck in his skin. Barely breathing he pressed a button on his left arm plate. Harley ran up to him. "Batman don't worry. You'll be taken care of, your safe here." He turned to face her. "No...I'm too late." He began to fall unconscious again.

"Somebody call the police!"


	16. Preparation

"Please everyone get back, let the paramedics do their job." Jeremiah directed the board members out of the room. Batman was severely injured to the point of it being near deadly. His body was covered in blood, cuts, and gashes. Harley held onto his hand as the paramedics set way to the ambulance.

"Miss we need to take him to Gotham General Hospital. Please, we'll take good care of him I promise.", said the female paramedic. Harley wanted to make sure The Batman was in no further harm but she knew that all she could do at the moment was focus on the other pressing affairs associated with Jack.

"Okay." She let go of Batman's hand and let the paramedic continue their work. The EMS workers shuffled the cart into the ambulance and drove off to make hast.

In the ambulance, "Where am I?" Bruce said as he struggled to keep consciousness. "Bruce don't worry, you're in safe hands now." The lady tapped the side of her neck. Her facial features morphed into another state of look. Her hair turned red along with her skin tone turning lighter. The other paramedic did the same but his hair turned short and black with his eyes turning black to blue. "Cassandra, Dick, take me home. I need to make some calls." Bruce couldn't talk anymore for know, it was time to take some rest.

Back in Arkham,

"Everybody calm down, the board of trustees will reschedule the meeting for next week while the GCPD investigates Arkham Asylum." Jeremiah Arkham felt relieved to reconvene at another time while holding an anxious expression due to recent events. Harley noticed and decided to pry.

"Hey Jeremiah, how are you doing?"

"Not so well Harleen, I feel like I can't breath."

"Hey hey stay calm. Batman is under good hands now…"

"I don't care about what happened to the Batman. I'm more concerned about what the Joker has installed for the staff of this facility?"

"Did you know what Joker was talking about earlier?"

"Of course not. I don't have any connections to that bastard! He hates my guts and in vice versa, it's that simple."

"It's never that simple Jeremiah. If you have something you want to tell me I'd suggest you disclose it now before the authorities can get involved." Jeremiah formed a little smirk.

"Why don't you ask Joker yourself Harleen. You seem to have turn Arkham Asylum into your own personal home away from home. I always found it to be a weird coincidence that when the Joker escaped the same week you first arrived." Harley felt insulted by his insinuations.

"You seem to be pulling at threads that aren't there Dr. Arkham. I don't think I need to explain to you that this facility has an unsettling high capture/escape turnover rate despite the extensive security. Although in a facility full of meta humans, the man without any powers has left the building the most, ironically spilling the least blood out of the rest of the patients. Not saying he has killed none, but even the insane are able to show more humility than those who claim to be normal." Jeremiah just left before telling Harley that the facility will be closed for five days. Not wanting to retort what she said all he wanted to do is try to cover his personal affairs, some having to do with Joker potentially. She wasn't sure but Arkham was never a willfully ignorant individual.

Harley left Arkham Asylum and drove quickly back to the penthouse in preparation for dinner. She wanted to coax Jack up a little bit before having a serious conversation. Entering the garage of the building complex, she went to the first floor underground before parking the Miata. The dinner she thought of making was something possibly Italian or maybe simply sticking to her Jewish roots. He didn't seem to mind expanding his palate for her. Maybe some kugel with some chicken soup and matzo balls would work. Not knowing when he would show up she decided to prep the meals and wait. The last time she tried that she waited nearly all evening. She picked up her phone and called him instead.

" _Yes love?"_ He said in a hurried tone. "I was wondering when you would be likely to come back home?" " _What time is it now, 2:39 p.m., let's go for fours hours max sweets."_ "Ya promise puddin?" " _I promise Harleen."_ He ended the call and she immediately went into their bedroom so she can switch out of her work clothes into something more practical.

" _It's time to release the prisoners."_ Joker told one of his henchmen in the control room to open all electronic gates and doors throughout Blackgate Prison. He believed for a comparison of chaos, showing non meta prisoners tare the island apart was to be an example of how sending the patients of the intensive treatment ward of Arkham Asylum would only add more collateral damage. The vote was to be held two weeks from this Thursday but frankly, Jack was impatient with little to no action for months until recently in the last couple of weeks. For now, let destruction persuade the officials voting, primarily the Gotham city politicians to strike down their own bill that was given complete support by the Arkham Asylum Board of Trustees, specifically spearheaded by the owner and head doctor of the facility, Dr. Jeremiah Arkham.

About four hours later Joker returned home to have some dinner with his Harley. Entering the living room he saw the tv on some random channel, assorted wedding magazines, and two empty glasses with a bottle of moscato, he smiled, taking the glasses and wine bottle to the kitchen to find a corkscrew. " _I can't keep track of where she puts the utensils and accessories anymore."_ Eagerly pulling multiple cabinets and drawers he eventually found the corkscrew next to the dishwasher. Taking the cork out of the wine bottle he poured two glasses waiting for Harley. Quickly he took a sip out the bottle itself. Harley came out of the bathroom heading towards the kitchen to check on dinner. "Eeeeee." She was shocked due to her outfit. " _What sweets, I'm on time."_ "Yes but I was planning on wearing something more elegant and presentable." Harley was simply wearing a pair of old navy leggings with a loose white t-shirt containing an old oil stain, along with having her hair falling flat and wavy. He picked her up and placed her on the kitchen counter. " _You'll always look beautiful to me Harleen. I've also seen you naked sweets, I know the goods underneath the cotton layers quite well."_ He kissed her for a full minute to show her how much he missed her. Eventually pulling away, " _So, what's for dinner love."_


	17. A Previous Session

"Hello Jack, how have you've been today?"

" _I'm indifferent today. I feel like I cannot concentrate on my usual tasks. Over the past couple of months I've notice a sense of agitation to minor inconveniences and annoyances. I haven't had a panic attack yet when in the presence of uncomfortable stimuli I can feel my heart race with a spike in adrenaline levels. At those moments I have felt numb to my environment. Sometimes I would start running, at other times I would use that short period to kill my enemies and former associates. This Zoloft you prescribed me is not showing any results yet, only giving me one refill with thirty pills containing a fifty milligram dosage. I have yet to yield anything positive from only six days besides an unpleasant headache the first day, multiple trips to the bathroom, and a slight decrease in my libido. I know my depression and anxiety has been with me for the better part of a decade now and besides past notions of rejecting medication in general in terms of my mental health is one thing, now I've decide to actually ingest the medicine and hopefully with the add on of psychotherapy, I can yield improvement over the following months to come. I was always afraid of taking medication due the possibility of it becoming a crutch, the dependency still remains a worry."_

"I know this might sound like a cliche but there is nothing to worry about Mr. Napier. This medication is not designed to make you completely dependent on it to exist. I am aware of the misconception that all patients that begin taking SSRIs will surely become dependent and cannot function without it. However that is not true, taking the Zoloft adjacent to our sessions should yield success over the next couple of months to potentially a year or two if there is interference."

" _Interference, that's funny. The nurse's here have complained in the past that I had moments of hostility in taking the medication. But that is one side of the story, I will say that some of the nurses are not exactly kind to a man of my stature. Hell, some of the nurses were related to some of my victims so the hate is understandable. However, we all have those moments in life where we need to bite our tongues."_

"You mentioned your victims. Was there any signs of remorse? Any questioning of character while performing your acts of inhumanity?"

" _Dr. Quinzel, I'm sensing a tone of bias from you. I thought you were to be impartial, independent, non judgemental. What most people do not understand about murder is it's an effective method to let go entirely and I don't mean steam or sexual gratification. You can drop social norms and their constricting restrictions. That moment you realize the person is dead, it desensitizes you, it makes you capable and accept reality that anything is possible, all it took for the liberation of one is another who is unwilling to make themselves aware of their true potential. I kill because I can, not because I inherently want to. Emotions will complicate any action, there is no room for second guessing. Most call me an overzealous mass murdering narcissist who is certifiably insane and incapable of showing empathy or to give mercy to the disenfranchised. They're wrong. I'm not insane, I'm not. I have also shown empathy in the past. An example was when I saved a certain blonde woman walking down a dark alley. She looked so innocent and unfazed by the decrepit environment around her. She did not notice a man following her until she was already halfway down the alley. Eventually noticing the man she sped up, unfortunately realizing that the person had nefarious intentions. Another formed at the end of the alley with a knife in one hand and a gun in the other. She paused in one second and was cornered in the next. The thoughts going through her head could be unimaginable. Maybe her life flashed before her eyes, maybe she saw her future mourning family, or maybe she saw nothing but static. Although none of those negative thoughts were unnecessary. I killed both attempted murderers with a .22 caliber pistol, enough to kill with least likely possibility of shrapnel to ricochet and wound the victim. Her eyes were closed when I killed them, not wanting to see the bloodshed from the indignity of deprived animals. I spoke to her calmly to let her know that all was well. She held me with relief, at that moment I felt how scared she was. I knew what it was like to be in a position of weakness. So yes, I can look like a monster but I'm not, I'm just ahead of the curb. It all becomes a matter of perspective."_

"Thank you. Our next appointment will be tomorrow at three. Please, be kind to the nurses tonight Mr. Napier."

" _I will try Dr. Quinzel, have a pleasant evening."_  
...


End file.
